Page 52 of Beyond the Summer

"You used him as your ticket out of school," I spat out, each word heavy with accusation."But you left him behind with the guilt of getting you expelled.He's carried that burden for years, convinced that he ruined your life by getting too close to you."My voice wavered slightly, but I held Elliot's gaze, wanting them to see the truth in my words."He hasn't let himself love anyone, or even care for anyone since then, because he feared the same would happen to them."

A look of realization washed over Elliot's face."I didn't… I didn't realize it affected him like that.He was always, you know, kind of a slut.It's who he is.I didn't think I meant anything special to him."

"That's not who he is," Matt chimed in from behind Elliot, his voice soft yet firm."Sutton is so much more than his sexual preferences.So much more than he shows anyone.He's lovely and insightful, and so good for my brother.And very, very scared."My stepbrother's words warmed me to the core.

"Sometimes people are open and enjoy sex with many partners, and that's fine," I continued, locking eyes with Elliot again."But sometimes they're using sex as an escape from something else.I wish you'd known the difference."

A whispered expletive escaped Elliot's lips as their gaze dropped momentarily before meeting mine again, remorse etched clearly in their expression.Their worried expression was sincere enough that it took the heat out of my anger.

"I wish I had, too," Elliot whispered.

"Ben wants you to learn from what happened," Matt said quietly."And not to treat it frivolously in front of Sutton."

"Fuck, I'm so sorry," Elliot confessed quietly."You're right.I didn't think about how my actions could affect him.I could use the excuse that we were teenagers, but the truth is, I was too wrapped up in my own problems to see his, and I'm so sorry that it caused harm."

I nodded, accepting their apology, and hoping Sutton would be able to find it in himself to do the same."Just… remember that when you're working with him on this project.Be gentle with him, please.Be sure he understands that you're sorry."

Elliot studied me for a long moment, then nodded."Of course."They went to turn away, and paused, looking back at me."I think you've got one thing wrong, though.Sutton wasn't closed off to love.He was waiting for someone to love him as fiercely as you clearly do.Waiting for the love of his life."

The love of his life.That made me grin like an idiot.I shoved my hands in the pockets of my shorts and glanced towards my stepbrother."Matt, can you handle Sutton's dad?Answer your damn phone.He's not the type to wait for a callback."

"Will do," Matt said, saluting me."You go take care of your boyfriend."

With that, I turned and jogged to catch up with Sutton.Once the urge to defend his honor was satisfied, it was immediately replaced by worry that I'd left him to wallow too long.

I found him still walking on the path back to my cabin.The fact that he'd headed home made me smile as I fell into step beside him.I let him walk in silence for a little while, unable to imagine the depth of grief he might be processing—for the life he could have lived, for the time lost, and for the angst and anguish he'd gone through after the breakup, thinking he'd ruined someone's life.

I nudged Sutton's broad shoulder, a mischievous grin playing on my lips."You know, I'm grateful for your slutty past.Think of the skills you've gained.It makes for some damn good blowjobs now that you're mine."

Sutton barked out a startled laugh at my comment, his green eyes sparkling with mirth beneath the fringe of his dark hair."That's what sets you apart, Ben," he replied warmly, his voice laced with affection."You have this uncanny knack for knowing exactly what to say."

I scoffed playfully at his compliment, shaking my head in disbelief."Bullshit," I retorted."I'm notorious for sticking my foot in my mouth.Matt's the one who has a way with words."

Sutton shook his head in disagreement."Nope.You have the same kind of wisdom he does—but you never fail to make me laugh."His words warmed me from the inside out, and I went quiet for a moment, thinking about the different ways that we fit.

"Thanks for standing up for me with Elliot."

"You heard that?"

"I was like ten feet away at that point!And I slowed down my walk because I was curious."

"Ah," I said, grinning.

"I also heard them call you the love of my life."He turned to me, his eyes growing more serious."They weren't wrong."

I stepped into his space, trying to act tough."Well, if I'm the love of your life, you'd better fucking stay in Washington with me."

"Well, if I'm the love of your life, you'd better fucking wait for me if I need to finish school at Stanford," Sutton countered, his lips twitching with a barely restrained smile.

"Did I admit that you were the love of my life?Don't think so!"

He used all of his rugby player physique to shove me against the rough bark of a huge ponderosa, pinning my hands as he kissed me roughly."Admit it."

"Does it count if it's under duress, though?"

"Ben.Admit it.You'll never love someone like you love me."

"I mean, fuck, hopefully I won't have to," I yelped."We'll grow old together, and I'll never know that the real love of my life is Petunia Longbottom, who lives down the road."

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