Page 33 of Beyond the Summer

Ibouncedmykneeunder the table, eyeing Ben as he slid an egg sandwich across his breakfast bar to me, wondering how he was acting so normal.He leaned over and kissed the top of my head before sitting next to me, taking a huge bite of his sandwich.

"Not hungry?"he asked as he sipped his coffee.

I was hungry.But how was I supposed to act now, after the desperately passionate, soul-bearing sex we had last night?I swallowed hard and stared down at my sandwich, then scooted my stool a little closer to his.He chuckled softly and stood, sliding his stool over so that he was completely encroaching on my personal space before sitting again.It was the most perfect thing he could have done.He sat with his left hand on my back, rubbing circles there as he held his sandwich in his right hand and ate.

Slowly, I started to relax.

"You swallowed my dick in the shower this morning, but you're nervous now?"Ben asked."You and I are at opposite ends of the nervousness spectrum."

"Why would sucking cock make me nervous?"I asked, genuinely confused."I'm very good at it."

"Like I said, opposite ends of the spectrum."He kissed my temple, then took a long swig of his coffee, and I finally picked up my sandwich and took a bite.It was so fucking good; savory and perfectly crisped on the edges, cheesy and gooey in the middle.One bite made me realize I was ravenous.

I couldn't stop sneaking glances at Ben as we ate.The way his damp, tousled hair curled around his ears.The bob of his Adam's apple as he swallowed a bite.His long, nimble fingers that I now knew could work magic on my body.

The way I'd felt when he'd been inside me had been something I wasn't entirely sure I could attribute to the intense edging session.I never felt sated after sex.I always wanted more.Except with Ben.Ben had left me completely boneless and satisfied.I didn't know what that meant.

"So, you have that meeting with Matt this morning," Ben said, jolting me from my reverie.

My stomach seized with nerves again at the thought of the impending discussion.Why had I agreed to a meeting?What if I said the wrong thing or made an ass of myself?

Seeming to sense my unease, Ben reached over and rubbed my back again."You've got great insight to share, Sutton.You're so good at talking to these kids and understanding what really matters to them.And it'll be fine, I promise.Matt really wants to hear your perspective."

I exhaled shakily and tried for a smile."Walk with me there?I could use the moral support."

"Of course."Ben stood and extended his hand to me."I'll go in if you'd like me to."

Nodding, I slid my palm against his, interlacing our fingers.We washed up, finished getting ready, and before long, he announced that it was time to go.Feeling shy, I let him lead me out the door.We strolled through the camp, hands swinging between us, down the dirt path to the main lodge.Because we were still between sessions, the camp was deserted and the walk there was quiet.

Matt's office was at the back of the lodge, and as we walked through the building, my nerves surged.Ben must have noticed my jittery hands, because he turned to me, rubbing my arms and giving me a reassuring kiss.

"You've got this, Sutton.I'm right here with you," he murmured against my lips.

I nodded, not trusting my voice, and raised my fist to knock on the rustic wooden door.It was now or never.Time to advocate for the queer kids who needed a place to belong, like I always had.With a deep breath, I rapped my knuckles against the door.

The door swung open to reveal Matt.He was tall and wiry, dressed in an outfit that could double as outdoor gear, with wild, disheveled curls, a thick beard, and a huge smile.He was probably a decade older than Ben, but I knew they were step-siblings, so I supposed that made sense.

"Ben!Sutton!Come on in, guys."He beckoned us forward with an enthusiastic wave.

We stepped into the cramped office, and I nearly tripped over a stack of papers teetering precariously by the door.The small space was a whirlwind of chaos - folders strewn across the desk, Post-It notes covering every visible surface, and half-empty coffee mugs perched in improbable locations.

"Sorry about the mess," Matt said sheepishly, shoving aside a pile of binders to clear two chairs."Somehow, I never have time to tidy up in the summer."

"As if you tidy up ever," Ben teased.

Matt laughed, moving some papers off of his desk into another pile next to his computer."Have a seat.Make yourselves comfortable."

I eased into the offered chair, trying to calm my racing pulse.Ben settled next to me, his knee brushing against mine in silent encouragement.

Matt plopped down behind his desk and leaned forward, eyes sparkling with excitement."So, I wanted to start by thanking you for bringing these issues to our attention, Sutton.It's admirable, really."

I glanced at Ben, who nodded at me with an encouraging smile.His belief in me steadied my nerves.I licked my lips and began speaking.As I spoke, outlining the challenges I'd seen kids facing in my short time here, and the changes I envisioned for the camp, I felt a growing sense of purpose.This was my chance to create the inclusive space I'd always longed for.With Ben by my side and Matt's support, we could make a real difference for countless queer kids.

I took a deep breath and finished my speech, surprised at how much had come pouring out of me."I think one of the most important things we can do is create gender-neutral facilities and activities.Trans and nonbinary kids shouldn't have to feel like they're being forced into a box that doesn't fit them, and even for cisgender kids, there may be some who feel more comfortable around the opposite gender."

Ben nodded enthusiastically."I think we need to explore whether the concept of having independent camps for boys and girls is unnecessary?Why do we do that, anyway?"

"It's the way it was done back in the day.But just because it's always been one way doesn't mean it's right."Matt leaned back in his chair, stroking his chin thoughtfully."You know, I think you two are onto something here.I've been wanting to make some changes around here for a while now, but I wasn't sure where to start.You've given me a lot to think about.Thank you, Sutton.Frankly, I'm a little surprised to hear these kinds of ideas coming from the son of Lawrence Holm.Your father isn't known for being open-minded."

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