Page 17 of Beyond the Summer

Though, from what I could tell, Ben had a very nice-sized package.Maybe that was all it was.I'd get him to dick me down once with that massive cock.I'd get that out of my system and move on.I swallowed and glanced back at Sam, pretty sure I shouldn't be thinking about the size of Ben's dick during a camper's crisis.

Though, perhaps sharing a secret might get the kid to open up.And fortunately, I had an innocent, sweet one to share.

"Hey, Sam," I said."Can I share something with you that no one else knows?"

"Sure, I guess," Sam replied, glancing my way suspiciously.

"Okay, here goes… so I'm gay.And I haven't told anyone.I'm kind of in the closet, but still…" There, I'd said it.I'd told someone the truth.Of course, I was talking to a 13-year-old boy.And the sky hadn't fallen or anything.

"Oh.That's cool, I guess.Why are you in the closet, though?You're like, old."

"Long story."I faked a laugh, brushing over that detail."Anyway, I have this ridiculous crush on Ben," I confessed, trying to look as sheepish as possible."He's really not at all my type, but he's so damn cute and bossy."

Sam giggled, which surprised me."That's not a secret at all, Sutton.It's painfully obvious."

"What?Really?I thought I was being subtle."

"Trust me, everyone can see it.But don't worry, it's kind of sweet.The two of you bicker like an old married couple."That wasn't the first time a camper had told us that, and I was happy to see Sam's smile sticking around."But when he's not looking, you stare at him like…" Sam shrugged."It'd be nice to have someone look at me like that, one day."

"None of you can tell Ben, all right?"

"Micah says Ben is crushing on you just as hard."

"Great, that's what I needed.A bunch of middle school boys know the secrets of my love life," I mumbled, rolling my eyes at my predicament.

"We're not all boys," Sam whispered.

"What?"

"Can I tell you something?"Sam asked nervously, looking up at me with wide brown eyes, still shimmering and red-rimmed from the tears.

"Of course," I said, with an encouraging smile."Camp is a safe space."

"Okay, so," Sam hesitated for a moment, swallowing hard."Um.Well, the thing is, you said 'boys', but I'm not a boy."

Sam was trans?Why hadn't anyone mentioned that to us ahead of time?"Oh shit," I said."I'm so sorry.Was I misgendering you this whole time?"

Sam shrugged."Not really, because I didn't tell anyone my pronouns.My mom says she wants me to take my time and decide what fits.But the thing is, being called a boy really bothers me.I think I might be nonbinary, or maybe a girl."

I frowned, thinking back to all the times I'd referred to the campers as boys and feeling guilty."Still, I'm sorry.Not sorry you're trans, I mean, just… I didn't know.I shouldn't have been assuming the kids in our group were all boys without asking."There had been a sheet, I was pretty sure, with pronouns listed, but I, of all people, knew about not being out with your parents.

"It's not your fault.My parents put he/him as my pronouns on the camp forms.They wanted me to dress sort of, more masc than I usually do.And it's not their fault, either.They were worried I might get bullied, and, you know, they don't quite understand."

"Parents who don't understand—that's an area I'm a certified expert in."

"Mine love me, I know," Sam said."And they're really trying.But they don't always get it.They keep saying I don't have to decide anything right away, but it… I don't know.I don't feel like myself."

I reached out and rubbed his shoulder."Well, it's really brave of you to share.Thank you for trusting me with this.How would you feel if we told the rest of the campers which pronouns you'd like to use?"

"They/them?"Sam whispered, cheeks turning pink.

"Of course.Be patient with them.They might slip up a little, but I know these kids, and I'm sure they'll try their best."

"Thanks," they said, their cheeks turning a light shade of pink."It's just… I thought I'd love camp, and in some ways I do.It's really beautiful here, and I love hiking and the outdoors.But I didn't think about how everything is so gendered and binary, you know?There's a boy's side and a girl's side.And there's no space set aside for people like me."

I nodded in understanding."Yeah, I get that.It must be really difficult.And with the tent situation tonight…" I trailed off, putting two and two together and realizing why Sam had been so stressed out."Is that why you are stressed?You don't want to be in a tent with a boy?"

"Yeah," Sam sighed."I don't like to undress in front of the other kids.In the cabin, it's a little awkward, but I made it work because I can do it in the bathroom or shower stall, but I don't know what I'll do in a tent."

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