Page 10 of Beyond the Summer

As I busied myself with gathering paintbrushes and scraps of wood, I could feel Sutton's eyes on me.

Sutton

Thefirstsessionofcamp flew by, and right when I felt like I'd started to really get to know the kids, they were preparing to leave, and Matt was hosting a big celebratory bonfire at the amphitheater.I felt a little sad about that.There was something magical about this place that made me want to keep things just as they were.Ben would boss me around, the campers would be a little too rowdy, and their laughter and joy would give me the respite I'd craved for so damn long.

Heat radiated off the small bonfire at the center of a circle of log benches.Laughter and the scent of barbecue filled the air as the campers enjoyed a cookout celebrating the end of session one.Next to the fire, Matt was standing on a bench, leading a group of kids in a hilarious campfire song.

Our campers were scattered about the group, some singing with Matt, others waiting in line for hot dogs.A few were at the edge of the clearing, already selecting sticks for marshmallow roasting.They were all accounted for, which meant I could relax.

The moment was full of nostalgia for simpler times, when all it took to have fun was a fire and some sugary treats.I'd never been to Eagle Ridge, but I'd been to camps like this, and the party brought me back there—before Stanford, before Parker, before all the bullshit of high school.Back then, camp had been a respite from my father, and I supposed it was now, too.

I searched the crowd for Parker, who was sitting on a bench with Ravi, the gold in his hair reflecting the campfire.They were chatting, laughing, and eating their hot dogs, almost as carefree as the young campers, though I knew Parker's life wasn't as easy as it seemed on the surface.If things had gone according to my original plan, I would have been sitting where Ravi was.I waited for the wave of yearning to hit me, but it didn't.

That was odd.

Instead, I felt content with the knowledge that Parker was moving on, finding other people to connect with.But how had things happened so quickly?It had only been a few weeks since camp started, and already they seemed inseparable—maybe even more than friends.

"Hey, Sutton!"Toby and Cole snapped me out of my thoughts."Want a hot dog?Our thanks for the secret archery lessons!"

"Sure!Thanks," I replied with a wide smile, accepting the grilled hot dog and forcing myself to swallow, though it seemed to get stuck in my throat.The camper chattered about our latest hike, and I said the appropriate things, happy to see the kids so excited."We have the final archery competition tomorrow before the end-of-session party.You two ready to show off?"

"Oh, hell yes!"Toby pumped his fist."We're gonna show Jeremy and his cronies that geeks can be good at sports.Like you!"

I choked a little."Like me?"

"Yeah, you know.We know you're a geek like us on the inside, even if you look like a jock," Cole said with self-confidence you only saw in the truly delusional.

"Right."I grinned at them, not wanting to crush their spirits.Keeping my true feelings on the inside was something I was skilled at, and around these kids, I was even more motivated.I didn't want to risk any of my bullshit touching their lives.Not the way it had with Parker.

A kid named Logan dragged the kids away to get s'mores, and my attention was quickly drawn to a familiar figure sitting alone on a log at the edge of a campfire, his nose buried in one of his ogre books.Despite the chaos around him, Ben seemed entirely engrossed in his reading.His ability to shut out the world and focus on his books, or on whatever he drew in those sketchbooks of his, must have been superhuman.

A mischievous smile spread across my face as I sauntered over to him.I couldn't seem to stop pushing Ben's buttons, and I wasn't sure why, but he'd kill me if he knew I was doing it on purpose.Maybe it was the way he'd blush and stutter when flustered, or maybe it was the nutty, vaguely sexual threats he kept making.Or it was the way his warm brown eyes would flash with annoyance before he'd fire back with some witty retort.

If he truly tried to bend me over his knee, I'd probably say yes.Hell, I'd probably ask him to spank me more.

And as much as I tried to deny it, I found him attractive.I loved the way his inky black hair curled above his ears and the narrow column of his neck, the way it tapered down to lean but firm shoulders and arms.He may have looked slim at first glance, but the muscles that peeked out from under his camp t-shirt were nicely formed.He was fit in a way that told me he loved the outdoors, even when he pretended not to, but spent zero time in the gym.

I wondered what he'd think if he found out how much time I spent trying to make my body something that men would leer at.Ben certainly spent a good amount of time looking, and there was a certain satisfaction in it.He probably thought I didn't notice.I plopped down beside him on the log bench, sitting close enough that our knees bumped.Not because I wanted to touch him, but because I loved the way he got all flustered.

"Wow, Ben, you sure know how to live it up on a Friday night," I drawled."I mean, who needs friends and fun when you've got… whatever this is?"

"Excuse me for having a quiet hobby," Ben replied without looking up."Not all of us can be as charming as you, Sutton."

"Ah, but you see, that's where you're wrong," I grinned, leaning in closer."You could be a social butterfly if you wanted to.All you have to do is put down that book and join the rest of us."

"Thanks, but I'll pass," he said, finally glancing over at me.His eyes flickered with a hint of amusement."Although I suppose someone has to keep an eye on you and make sure you don't corrupt the youth."

"Me?Corrupt?"I feigned shock, placing a hand over my heart."Well, if you won't put the book down and join us, at least tell me what you're reading."

"Fine," Ben conceded, showing me the cover."It's from the Mages of Aleron series.Heard of it?"

"Sounds riveting," I replied sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.But Ben didn't seem to mind my teasing.

"Actually, it is," he retorted, looking me in the eye with a newfound confidence."The series is about queer acceptance, but this one in particular is about a prince who is trapped in his family's expectations of him to marry a woman, when he's only attracted to men.He meets an ogre who finds him irritating."

"Sounds like a captivating plot."I rolled my eyes, trying to cover any signs of interest in the book.That hit a little too close to home.

"It's mostly fun and adventure until they start fucking," Ben said with a shrug so casual that I wondered for a moment if I'd heard him wrong.But then he leaned in close and winked."Turns out the prince has a size kink and loves to take big cocks inside him."

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