Page 21 of It Starts With Summer

“What the hell, Ravi?”I dug my heels into the dirt and yanked my arm out of his hand, glaring at him.I was bigger and stronger than him.He didn’t get to manhandle me.Also, why was he manhandling me?

Ravi pushed his glasses up on his nose and narrowed his eyes at me, getting the holier-than-thou expression he got when he was about to lecture me.Uppity prick.

“Parker, you’re being an idiot about this.You can’t throw yourself at that asshole again.”

“Well, maybe that’s my decision to make.Maybe I want to be an idiot!”I tugged on my arm again, and he let go, the suddenness making me stumble backward.

“Valid point,” he said, chewing on his bottom lip.“But trust someone who has been in that very situation.You don’t want to go down that road again.You deserve better.”

“Maybe I don’t need ‘better’ right now,” I retorted, ignoring the way the moonlight made the sharp angles of Ravi’s face mysterious and sexy.“Maybe I need dick.”

“Come on.”Ravi’s voice softened, his eyes skimming over my face.He looked worried.“Can we just walk back towards the cabin and talk it through?I want a chance…” He trailed off, swallowing hard.“I mean, if you want to hook up with him after you’ve calmed down a bit, I won’t say anything.This is just a pause.A reset.”

He kept walking, down the hill and away from the bonfire, and for some unknown reason, I followed him.Ravi had that kind of pull over me, and I wasn’t sure I understood why.

“Why would I need a reset?”I asked, speed-walking to catch up with him.

“It’s only been three weeks since you saw him in our cabin and almost had a panic attack.”

“It wasn’t a panic attack.It was a slight freak out.”My lies sounded like lies even to me.

Ravi shot me a rather judgmental look.“Looked like a panic attack to me.”

“Ravi, for fuck’s sake, I'm horny.I’m used to having a lot of sex and I’m losing my goddamn mind.I don’t always need romance or a deep connection.And Sutton is easy and available.”

Ravi stared at me, his mouth hanging open.He probably hadn’t expected me to be so blunt.

“Fine,” he sighed, adjusting his glasses.“But there are better guys out there, Parker.Guys who won’t hurt you like Sutton did.”

“Like who?”I scoffed, rolling my eyes.“Sometimes a gay guy just needs to play with a cock, you know?To touch someone and be touched.And it’s not like the staff at camp is full of queer men.You wouldn’t understand what it’s like.So you can just fuck off.”

I turned to storm off, but only got a few steps before Ravi’s voice stopped me in my tracks.“So play with mine.”

My heart skipped a beat as I spun around, staring at him in disbelief.The seriousness of his expression told me he wasn’t joking.“What did you say?”I stammered, sure I’d misheard him.

Ravi swallowed hard before repeating himself in slow, steady, simple words.“I said… play with my cock.I have some things I want to figure out, and you have cravings to manage.Without Sutton.”

His words echoed in my mind as I tried to process what he was offering.It seemed too surreal, too unexpected.

“You don’t mean that,” I said, staring at Ravi in disbelief.My heart raced with a mixture of excitement and confusion.Did he want me?Had he been feeling the same things I’d been feeling?

“Look, Parker.”Ravi pushed his glasses up his nose, his brown eyes filled with determination.“It makes sense.It’s logical.”

“Logical,” I repeated, blinking.Classic Ravi.

“This is what it takes to save you from more heartache with Sutton.You got wrapped up in him once.Why wouldn’t it happen again?”

“You’re straight, Ravi!”I shook my head, trying to wrap my mind around the sudden turn of events.

“Maybe I don’t know myself as well as I thought.”He raised an eyebrow, challenging me.“I’ve been thinking about that.About things I always denied because I thought it was easier to ignore them.Because I’m attracted to women, too.But I’ve been attracted to men in the past, too.”

“Whatever, Ravi.This is insane.It’ll fuck everything up.”

“You said it was about sucking dick."Ravi was firm and straightforward as always, and I wondered if I was imagining something deeper and warmer in his eyes.“Is that true?”

“Of course it’s true."I cleared my throat, tugging on my hair.“But I can’t do this.Not now.I’m not your bi-awakening.”

He looked at me with a mix of surprise and concern, his deep brown eyes searching mine for answers I didn’t have.

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