Page 18 of It Starts With Summer

Well, that was an interesting turn of events.I left my left hand on Parker’s thigh as we ate, not sure when to let go of him.At this point, it seemed like moving my hand would draw even more attention to the way I was touching him.

And he never commented on what my hand was doing.You’d think that if your friendly co-counselor was groping you, you might mention it to them.But not Parker.Parker just sat there, letting me hold his thigh.

What the hell was I doing?Why didn’t I want to let go of him?As his muscles relaxed more and more, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.Instead, I dug my fingers in, massaging his tight muscles a little, as I drank down the last of my coffee.

Camp coffee wasn’t good, but the caffeine helped me face the hyperactive campers so early in the morning.I glanced across the room to where the Raven campers were getting a little rowdy at their assigned table.Fortunately, unless we were on duty for that meal, we weren’t responsible for dealing with them until activity time started, and the counselor on duty settled them down.

Parker finished his breakfast, then set his fork down and deliberately laid his hand over mine.He flipped my hand to be palm up, weaving his fingers through mine for a moment and giving it a squeeze.And as much as I disliked being touched, that felt nice.His fingers fit firmly between mine, stretching my hand pleasantly, and his grip was strong and reassuring.

“Thank you,” he whispered.“Needed that.”

Then he let go of my hand and stood.On his way out of the lodge, he walked by our campers’ table to ruffle a kid’s hair and joke with them about our upcoming lake day.Maybe he’d never been upset — maybe I’d assumed all of that.

I stared after him as he walked out the lodge door, more confused than I had been before.Matt stood at the front of the room and made some announcements, then told campers they had twenty minutes to get ready for activity.Sutton got up and followed Parker out the door.He hadn’t eaten anything.

When I looked across the table, Ben was smirking at me.

“Your face,” he said, bursting out laughing.“So much panic.”

“Shut up.”I dropped my head to the table with a groan.“Fuck.Was I that obvious?”

“You were freaking out, huh?But why?”

“Because I put a hand on his thigh, and I don’t know why I did it, and then I didn’t know how to take it back.”I rubbed my hands over my face before sitting back up.“Why am I so awkward?”

Ben was studying me, his eyes curious.“Why would you need to take your hand back?Parker looked happy.”

“Parker always looks happy,” I said.

Ben shook his head.“No, he doesn’t.Most of the time, he looks a little… I don't know.Lonely?Lost?And covering it all up with bravado.”

“If that’s true, you’re way better at reading people than I am.”The complexities of human emotions, the layers, sometimes confused me.When I saw a smile, I saw a signal that a person was happy, but other people were able to sense more.

As we walked back to the cabin, I thought about that.Surely, I’d notice if the guy I'd spent all of my time with over the last few days was unhappy.Even if he smiled often, he'd have unhappy moments, wouldn't he?

I didn’t like unsolved mysteries, though.And I was determined to understand this one.

nine

Parker

Thesunblazedbrightand hot, making me glad that today was a lake day.I needed to get out of my goddamn head and enjoy myself.And as I made my way back to the cabin, thoughts of Ravi’s gentle touches spun through my mind.Had he known he’d made me hard?

Probably not.Ravi had an instinctive need to nurture those he cared about — I saw it often with our campers.In my case, he even nurtured those whom he found mildly irritating.It was stupid of me to think that it was sexual or rooted in attraction.Even if he had said he wanted to test some things out with his sexuality.

My whole body went hot at the thought of being Ravi’s test subject, imagining offering myself to him, nude and prepped, allowing him to use any part of me he liked.

“Hey, Parker!”

As I got to our cabin, I turned at the sound of my name to see Sutton jogging up to me.His muscular, athletic build was even more imposing now.At one point, I’d found that sexy, the way he could manhandle me, shove me around.Now, something about it made me tense up.

“Can I talk to you?”Sutton asked.

“Sure, what’s up?”I tried to keep my tone casual, hoping to prevent any drama from unfolding.

He stepped closer, lowering his voice.“I’ve noticed you’ve been getting pretty friendly with Ravi.”A hint of jealousy crept into his words, which was ridiculous.

“Ravi’s my co-counselor.I spend all of my time with him.”

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