Page 15 of It Starts With Summer

After all, that was what had happened with Sutton.He'd been clear to me about what he was looking for — hot sex, no strings — and I'd fallen for him anyway, convinced that he was feeling something too.It was impossible to know what Sutton had been feeling — guys who were in denial about their sexuality didn't tend to leap straight into calling you their boyfriend.Sutton had his demons, and it would take more than a stirring of something that felt like it could be love to rattle those loose.

It wasn’t even about Sutton, not really — it was about my loneliness, which was becoming unmanageable.Losing my parents had left me with an emptiness that seemed to only grow larger with each passing day.I had convinced myself that I didn’t need anyone else, but I craved human connection — physical touch, warmth, and the comfort of another person’s presence.What would it be like to have someone like Ravi?

I was absolutely certain that Ravi took as much care with his relationships as he did with everything else.It was clear what was appealing about him — not just his cheekbones or his abs.Ravi was steady and reliable to a fault.He was the kind of person who wouldn’t let you down, not if he could avoid it, and he’d make a good partner for someone someday.For a woman, though.

Closing my eyes, I told myself the same thing I’d told myself for years.I didn’t need a family.I didn’t need anyone.I was hungry for a little cock.That would soothe all of my frazzled nerves.

As I watched Ravi, I thought about the way he’d looked while reading Mages of Aleron.His cheeks had flushed and his eyes had widened with curiosity.It made me wonder what was going on in his head.But Ravi had said he was straight, and I had to respect that.

His eyes fluttered open, and I smiled as his soft lashes parted to reveal those gorgeous brown eyes.We locked gazes, and for a moment, it felt as if time had stopped.Our breaths mingled in the chilly morning air, and I found myself wondering whether Ravi could feel the electricity between us.

“Good morning.”Ravi’s morning voice was low and husky from sleep.

“Morning,” I squeaked, not at all sexy.So much for keeping my tone casual.I didn’t want him to know I’d been watching him sleep like a weirdo, but I couldn’t look away.

“Did you sleep well?”Ravi tucked his arm under his head as he continued to gaze into my eyes.

“Uh, yeah.”I suddenly wondered if he knew I’d been awake.Could he tell I’d been staring?People had a sixth sense about that sometimes.

A smile played on Ravi’s lips as he shifted closer.For a blissful instant, I thought he might make a move.But before anything could happen, a camper’s voice cut through the tent fabric, shattering the intimate moment.

“Hey, Parker!Ravi!How do I go poop out here?Do I shit behind a bush?”

“Crap,” I muttered under my breath, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks as I realized I’d been hoping for a kiss from a straight guy.Story of my life.

He raised his left eyebrow.“Crap, quite literally.”We both laughed at his joke, and Ravi sat up, twisting and cracking his back.There was some rustling outside, and I suddenly became worried that there were campers just squatting in the grass somewhere, taking a dump.

“Wait for me, guys!There’s a shovel and you need to dig pits.”I forced myself to sit up, looking around for my hoodie.“If you can hold it for two minutes, I’ll come show you.”

“You’re probably too busy staring at Ravi’s abs.”There was a chorus of laughter after that, and I rolled my eyes.

Ravi frowned."I don't like eye contact.It makes me uncomfortable."

“Sorry, I’ll keep that in mind.”Feeling like an asshole, I hastily threw on my clothes, trying to shake off the lingering disappointment of the interrupted moment.

“No, I mean…” Ravi trailed off as I unzipped the tent, shrugging ruefully.“I don’t know what I mean.”

“It’s okay.”I shivered a little as I stepped out into the crisp morning air, and I could hear Ravi dressing behind me as I took a group of campers behind some bushes and showed them how to dig a hole and bury their poop.

The least fun part of backpacking, if you asked me, but after a few attempts, they got into digging their holes.I told them not to disrupt the soil too much and walked to the other side of the bushes, waiting for them to finish.

Across the meadow, I could see Ravi working on a fire.Despite never having been near a tent before, he was competent with that, like he was with everything.I wasn’t sure if he knew how to do everything, or if he’d memorized a lot of books.When the kids were done and their holes filled back in, we walked back to the campfire.

“Alright, everyone,” Ravi announced, his voice carrying over the sound of crackling flames and sizzling dehydrated egg scramble.“Breakfast will be ready soon.”The campers gathered around, each one eager for a taste of the meal he was cooking.

“Damn, this smells amazing.”I breathed in the scent of eggs and bacon mingled with the fresh, pine-scented air.My stomach growled, reminding me that I was starving.

“Smells good.Looks like yellow sludge, though, doesn’t it?”Ravi was frowning down at the pan, stirring with a small spoon as if it might de-sludge the rehydrated eggs.

“After another minute, it’ll look slightly better.Don’t worry, though, they taste better than they look.”After many years at camp, and doing outdoorsy things with my best friend, Aiden, I was accustomed to this kind of dehydrated meal.“This flavor is one of my favorites.”

“Good.Can’t have you wasting away on us, can we?”Ravi joked, nudging me with his elbow as he stirred the pot.Ravi’s dimples deepened with his grin, and I felt that familiar tug of longing in my gut.

“Definitely not.”With a weak chuckle, I forced myself to focus on the task at hand.As I pulled out some dried apples and mini muffins to serve as side dishes, I couldn’t help but sneak glances at Ravi’s muscular arms.The way they flexed and moved with practiced ease.It was hard not to imagine what those strong hands might feel like on my body, guiding me, holding me…

“Hey, Parker, are the eggs ready yet?”Holden asked, snapping me out of my reverie.

“Uh, just about.”I needed to cut it out with the inappropriate thoughts.

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