Page 57 of A Small Town Spring

“I forgot,” I whisper.“I guess I’ve been distracted.”

“Did something happen at the dinner?Did everything go okay?”

“It was fine.Boring.But fine.What’s distracting me isyou.”

“Oh, right.”Kingston sounds surprised.

“So no, I don’t particularly want to go to sleep, unless you want to, in which case I will happily snuggle down at your side and do my best impression of Luna.Otherwise, I’d very much like to kiss you again, if I may.”

He chuckles and turns to his side.I shift, too, and suddenly we’re only a few inches away from each other.His eyes look black in the low light.I think he’s looking at my mouth.

“You can kiss me,” he says.“I guess I just don’t want you to do anything you aren’t ready for.”

“I’ve been aching for you for months,” I say.“I’m ready for whatever you’re ready for.”

“I—damn.”He chuckles ruefully.“You’re calling my bluff, Toby.I guess I thought you’d, I don’t know, want to take things slower.”

“Slower?When I’ve been celibate for nearly a year?”

“No one since Ivy?”he asks.

“No one since Ivy,” I confirm.

“And when you were together, it was only her?”

“Of course,” I say.“I’m highly monogamous.”

“Because of your dad?”

“Because I’m much too much of a mess to be able to manage multiple partners at the same time.And because of my dad.And because I think at heart, I still believe in that fairy tale kind of love.If I didn’t, I would have thrown myself at you long ago and not cared about the consequences.”

“And before her—did you have relationships with men?”

I finally get what this is.The previous partners questionnaire.It’s been so long since I’ve done the new partner thing I forgot there were rules to the game.

“Relationships is a strong word,” I say.“But I had enough encounters to confirm for myself that I’m bisexual.I think after I met Ivy, I considered myself hetero-romantic.”

“Ah.”

I don’t imagine the hurt in his expression.

“And then I met you.And I knew that any label I had for myself was moot.Because I’ve never felt this way about anyone else.It’s the most cliché thing to say, but it’s true.”

“I happen to like clichés,” Kingston says.

“What about you?”I’ve wondered and now seems as good a time to ask as any.“How long since you’ve been with someone?”

“Longer than a year,” he says.“By complete accident.When my last real relationship ended?—”

“With Sergio?”

Kingston nods.He’s mentioned his friend a few times, and I always felt vaguely jealous of him.“With Sergio.That ended, and I felt… I don’t know.That the idea of trying to meet someone seemed exhausting.I wanted to, at least in theory.But then I met you, and I had even less incentive to find someone else when you were all I wanted.By the way, I’ve always been regularly screened and there’s nothing to worry about on that front.”

“I’m glad of that.But you never told me,” I say, still confused.“You wanted me all these months, and you never said anything.”

“I was scared,” he says plainly.“Of losing you altogether.And you didn’t say anything either.”

“I was scared, too,” I admit.“Of not being enough for you.And of, well, of it being too good.Because Kingston—” I break off, not ready to put into words how very much he’s it for me.

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