Page 49 of Addicted

“Would you like some water?” Grabbing one of the bottles he kept on hand by his desk, Owen twisted the cap and handed it to Liam, who sat up to drink but was trembling so hard that the liquid immediately sloshed out. Kneeling before him, Owen put both of his hands over Liam’s, steadying him, and Liam jolted a little with a soft gasp, staring tremulously at Owen before raising the bottle to his lips and taking a sip. Owen tried not to watch Liam’s mouth or how his throat worked as he swallowed.

“H-How did you know?” Liam let Owen take the bottle away and place it on the floor, at the ready.

“Know what?” Owen asked softly. Despite the rumbling noise downstairs, it was quiet in the office and Owen didn’t want to shatter whatever calm they were building.

“A-About m-my ex.”

“Oh. I remember when you were dating. They booked six months ago when Dean was still here. I didn’t put two and two together until I met with them today but the minute I saw August I recognized-” Owen stopped as Liam’s eyes filled with tears again. Lowering his head, Liam’s shoulders shook and small dark spots appeared on his pants as those tears fell.

“I-I’m s-s-sorry,” Liam’s voice was raw pain and it pierced Owen straight through. Rising, Owen sat next to Liam and placed a hand on his back, rubbing in a circle.

“Why do you keep apologizing? It’s fine, Liam. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Th-That’s not true. I’ve d-done everything wrong.” Liam’s body began to shake and he wept harder, his breaths racking as he put his hands over his face.

“Liam…” Without thought, just working on instinct, Owen pulled Liam close, gathering that shaking body into his arms. Thankfully, Liam didn’t resist, he was too busy trying to fold in upon himself, so Owen rocked him gently as he cried, running his fingers through the silky hair on the back of Liam’s head.

Eventually, Liam lowered his hands and pressed his forehead against Owen’s chest. Although he wasn’t outright sobbing anymore, Liam’s tears still flowed freely. Owen could feel them soaking through the fabric of his shirt and he tightened his hold, bringing Liam even closer.

“I didn’t graduate high school.” Liam’s voice was muffled but Owen could still hear how hoarse and hollow it was. “I couldn’t go to college. While everyone was getting their diplomas I was sitting next to Mom hoping she’d wake up. I still hear the beeps from her heart monitor.” Liam took in a wobbly breath. “I remember when they stopped. The silence when I killed her.”

“No.”Owen pulled back, holding Liam’s wet blotchy face in both of his hands, forcing Liam to meet his eyes. “You didnotkill her. You granted her mercy. You are a good son and they would have been proud of how brave you were.”

“I…” Liam blinked away more tears. “I’m not brave.”

“You are.” Owen leaned in for emphasis, staring deeply into Liam. “What happened to your parents was tragic and here you are, working, trying, building a life.”

“This isn’t a life.” Liam lowered his gaze and Owen placed his hands on Liam’s shoulders instead, keeping him close. This was the first time Liam had opened up and Owen wasn’t about to let it slip by. He was going to try to help as much as he could. To do what he’d needed to do three years ago.

“It is,”Owen persisted earnestly. “You’re doing what I’m doing, which is helping this place run. So many people at The Pointe respect you. In fact, Marci never stops telling me how lucky I am to have you as my assistant.”

Liam shook his head, letting Owen know that he wasn’t buying any of it; however, his tears had slowed, which meant that Owen was on the right track.

“Plus,” Owen gave one of Liam’s shoulders a light squeeze. “I admire you.”

Glancing up, Liam’s eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

“You knew who you were and you came out to your parents when you were sixteen.” Owen wiped Liam’s cheeks with his thumbs, tucking a stray strand of hair behind his ear. “I wish I had your bravery.”

Liam sniffled, shaking his head again. “I wasn’t being brave. I just didn’t want to lie to them. I was terrified.”

“But you still did it. Doing something even though you’re afraid? That’s bravery.” Owen took a deep breath, gathering some courage of his own. “Meanwhile, I hid in the closet for so long that I destroyed my family.”

Owen watched while Liam processed that statement, his lips parting and forming a little ‘o’ as he went through the levels of comprehension. This wasn’t the best time and place to come out but Owen was trying to make a point.

“Wait…” Liam blinked. “You’re gay?”

Owen nodded. “Yes. And it’s one of the reasons for my divorce.”

Liam’s eyes flooded with shock, then confusion, then something else that Owen couldn’t place before they filled with concern.

“But…” Liam tilted his head in thought, his distress displaced by Owen’s admission and Owen felt some inward relief that his distraction technique was working. “Um…h-how long-”

“How long have I known?” Owen finished for him. Liam nodded and Owen looked up at the ceiling, trying to focus, suddenly hyperaware that Liam was practically in his lap, and they were touching. Close up like this Liam smelled divine, like vanilla with an undertone of his own sweet scent, and Owen’s nostrils flared, wanting to sniff Liam’s hair, gather up more of that tantalizing fragrance. “I think in a way I’ve always known. As a teenager I looked at men as much as I looked at women and, for the longest time, I thought I was bisexual. But as I got older my preferences moved to only men. Sharon and I had been having trouble way before I realized that. To be honest we never should have gotten married in the first place but she had a life plan and I was part of it and, before I knew it, I was a little older than you with a troubled marriage and a kid on the way.” Owen stopped and took in a breath. So much of his marriage was a lie. “If I would have come out sooner, I could have avoided this messy divorce. I would still have Michael. As I said, you’re braver than I am.”

Motionless, Liam watched Owen with wide eyes full of questions and Owen absently smoothed back that auburn hair again, loving how the soft strands felt under his palm. Honestly, he loved everything about how Liam felt in his arms. When Owen had held him close, Liam’s chin had perfectly tucked under his like they were two puzzle pieces easily slotting together. It made Owen want to gather Liam up again, cling to him and rock him, scent him and nurture him, strip him and make love to him until Liam trembled from pleasure instead of pain.

Shaking his head, Owen stopped that train of thought before he had to shove Liam away and cross his legs. What was wrong with him? Liam just had a breakdown and Owen was thinking of sleeping with him. He needed to get his head on straight.

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