Page 94 of Addicted

“In the back. The doctor is looking at him now.” He gestured toward the doors, which opened, and Liam was hit by a wave of sterile hospital scent. It poked at something in his brain and all he could see was his mother, or what was left of her, comatose in her bed. He waited for the beeping, sure it would start at any second, but it never came.

“Hey.” He must have stopped because Finn was in front of him, trying to stare into his eyes. “You okay?”

Liam shook himself. This wasn’t about him or his mom. She wasn’t here, Owen was, and he needed Liam. That steely calm overtook Liam again and he nodded sharply. “Yeah, I um…I hate hospitals.”

“Same. Nothing good ever happens in these places so let’s get Opie and leave.” Finn walked through a set of doors into a waiting room and continued through another set next to the welcome desk, heading for the rows of beds behind it. Liam saw a familiar head of blond hair from behind one of the curtains and rushed past Finn, darting to Owen’s side and throwing his arms around him.

“Hello, Angel,” Owen held him back just as tightly. “I’m all right. A little tired.”

“I was so worried,” Liam said into his chest. Marci had told him that Owen was conscious but Liam needed to see it with his own eyes and his relief was palpable, flooding through him with such force he had to concentrate to keep his tears back.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” Owen kissed the top of his head. “Angel, can you give the doctor a minute so she can finish taking my blood pressure?”

Liam pulled back realizing that Owen was holding him with one arm while the other was in the hands of a silver-haired woman with a white coat and a bemused grin on her face.

“Oh!” Liam backed up, right into Finn - who steadied him with a matching grin - and they watched as the doctor resumed her examination. She asked Owen questions about his medical history, symptoms, and eating and sleeping habits as she looked him over and Liam interjected a few times, giving more information when he felt Owen wasn’t forthcoming enough, still hovering but leaving enough room for her to do whatever she needed.

“According to what you and your partner have told me this seems like exhaustion,” she nodded at Liam, who blinked, not used to being called Owen’s partner. “But I’m going to order full bloodwork and I’d like you to have a follow-up with your primary physician to discuss the results. The most important thing is that you get plenty of rest, preferably large amounts of REM sleep. I know you may be tempted to use sleep aids, Mr. Parker, but those can be habit-forming so if you do find the need to take them, do so sparingly. There are many causes of insomnia. Testing can rule out the physical but in a lot of cases, it’s psychological. I recommend being in the care of a therapist as well.”

“He will be,” Liam declared, the firmness of his voice making both Owen and Finn glance at him in surprise. The doctor only chuckled, writing some notes on the pad in front of her.

“It sounds like you’ll be in good hands. Give me a few moments to fill out some forms and order that bloodwork and I’ll be right back.” She vanished through the curtains.

Pushing a small stool over, Liam sat beside Owen’s bed, grabbing his hand and winding their fingers together.

“You scared me so much, today.” Liam kissed Owen’s wrist, leaning on the strange fortitude that had overtaken him in the last hour.

“I didn’t mean to,” Owen started. “Liam, I-”

“No. I’m talking now and you’re going to listen,” Liam interrupted. Owen’s eyes went wide.

“I think I’ll give you two some alone time.” Finn, who had been standing off to the side watching carefully, left without saying another word.

Liam took a deep breath. “I want to apologize. I’ve been selfish-”

“You haven’t. You’ve needed the time to heal and-”

Liam squeezed Owen’s hand. “Are you going to let me finish?”

“Yes sir.” Owen looked sufficiently chagrined.

“I’ve been selfish in letting you go this long without sleep, letting you cancel your therapy appointments, letting you take care of me at the expense of your own health.” Liam could feel his hard stare. He was no longer the shy, anxious Liam that he’d been when he had reunited with Owen. So many things had given him strength and he leaned on them as he hefted the full weight of his responsibility, what it meant to truly be Owen’s partner. “Did you know that there was Vicodin in one of the boxes?”

Owen gasped, eyes searching Liam’s face. But Liam could tell he wasn’t looking for signs of use; instead, he was looking for ways he could understand, ways to help. And Liam could tell that he wanted to say a million things but held back, giving Liam the grace he needed.

“I found it right before I left, kicked the box over by accident. It must have held most of my parents’ medicine cabinet, including their prescriptions. I looked down and there was a bottle of hydrocodone right against my leg. I held it for a little bit.”

Liam heard Owen’s sharp inhale.

“And I’m not going to lie to you. For a few seconds, I considered taking it. This week has been hard. I was terrified over you and I just didn’t want to feel bad anymore. But then I realized that I can’t crush those feelings down. I have to feel them. That’s how I build strength. And I need to become strong so I can support you in the ways you’ve supported me.”

Owen squeezed his hand and Liam stared deeply into Owen’s ocean-blue eyes, swimming in them freely.

“I flushed the pills. Getting rid of them gave me a sense of peace. Of calm. I was sitting there in the bathroom and all of a sudden I knew I could do this. I could become someone you can rely on. Someone worthy of your love.”

There was a beat of silence between them, a stillness that the chaos of the hospital hadn’t quite reached.

“Can I interrupt now?” At Liam’s nod, Owen sat up, swung his legs off the side of the bed, and gathered Liam close. “Youaresomeone I can rely on. You’ve done so many things for me that I can’t even begin to list them. You’re more than worthy of my love. I’m the one who keeps messing up. You’re trying to heal and I keep causing you pain-”

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