At least this day couldn’t get any worse.
Liam was beyond happy that he didn’t have to gointothe bank. From the expression on the cashier’s face when Liam had stopped at a convenience store to buy water, he was looking even worse than he had in the cab. At least the ATM couldn’t judge him as he transferred more of his parents’ legacy into his checking account; he’d do that just fine on his own.
Liam was beginning to worry. It had been at least an hour and Zach hadn’t responded. Of course, today he would be MIA. Walking past the coffee shop where Owen had confessed, Liam tried not to sob at what could have been. He’d been stupid to think he could have Owen, could have anyone care about him. He’d made too many mistakes and even if he’d had that extra week to clean himself up something else would have ripped that beautiful man from his grasp. Like Icarus, Liam had reached too high, flown too close to the sun, and had only gotten burned.
Finishing his water, he tossed it into the basket on the corner and headed toward Bar None. If Zach was working then Liam could contact him there.
It was strange seeing the bar in the afternoon light. The inside seemed a lot dingier when the sun streamed through the windows. There were a few patrons nursing their drinks and a tall muscular woman with an undercut tending bar; otherwise, the place was empty.
“Can I help you, sweetie?” The bartender asked as Liam approached. Her eyes didn’t sweep over him like the cashier’s did but her eyebrow quirked, making Liam run a hand through his hair again, straightening his shirt.
“Is Zach here?” His entire being was shaky. He hadn’t stopped trembling since the panic attack but it had taken on a sinister edge and he could tell that if he didn’t get another pill in his system soon, he was going to crack into little pieces.
The bartender’s expression changed, the congenial look replaced with a deep angry frown.
“No.” She crossed her arms. “Zach got fired yesterday, for dealing drugs out of this bar. And it’s been interesting to see who he’s dealing itto.”
The room spun and Liam took a step back, sucking in air as he tried not to pass out. He could tell some of the other patrons were listening in since the bartender didn’t keep her voice down; in fact, she pitched it so the entire room could hear. So Liam could drown in his shame.
Zach had been fired. How did they find out? Did he get arrested? What about the pills? Were the three he had at home the last three he’d ever get? The questions crowded his mind, pounding into the start of a headache, adding more pain to his sore and shivering body.
“Liam?” A familiar voice called out from the back of the bar and he didn’t have to turn to know who it was.
Marci.
Yet he turned anyway. And there she was, standing by the bathrooms with Isaiah, the expression on her face a mixture of shock and dismay, telling Liam that she’d heard everything. But Marci already knew. She’d been trying to talk to Liam about his grief for ages and, when he turned to pills, she’d somehow honed in on it, taking her concerns to Owen. He felt strangely guilty that she’d found out this way. He considered her to be his big sister and it was like he’d let his family down.
Escape was his only route and he darted out the front door of the bar before he could see any further judgment in her eyes. Tears wet his cheeks as he tore down the street, heading back to his house. People jumped out of his way, clearly sensing his speed and distress, and he made it to the back of his building in record time, pressing himself against the peeling wall and peering at the parking lot. Owen’s car wasn’t there and Liam felt a twinge of relief but it was quickly shoved aside. The run had delayed his panic, which settled in again as he climbed the stairs to his floor, forcing him to stop and wheeze in the stairwell. He wanted the day to be over, wanted his life to be over, wished he could rewind the last forty-eight hours and bring only one pill to Owen’s so there wouldn’t be anything to fall out of his pocket and ruin his life.
His phone buzzed. The onslaught of Owen’s calls and texts had stopped a short time ago and Liam still hadn’t listened to any of the messages, not wanting to sink any lower than he already had today. Steeling himself, he put a hand on his squeezing chest and checked his cell.
Meet me at 33 Gomer Street in an hour.
Zach. A twinge of relief brought Liam out of the panic attack. At least something was going right. He wouldn’t be out of pills too soon and he wouldn’t have to stop. Not anymore. A handful of Vicodin would wipe his brain and bring him somewhere without pain, without mistakes, without grief. He needed that so badly right now.
A shudder wracked Liam’s body and he pressed his throbbing head against the cool metal bars of the railing, feeling like he was going to vomit again. In a few hours he’d have absolution, be lifted into the heavens, and absently he wondered how many pills he’d have to take to stay there permanently.
Liam showed up early. Gomer Street was mostly warehouses with a few dilapidated homes between them and Liam stood in the driveway of one, hunched over his phone, shivering from withdrawals and the nip in the air. It was summer’s end and the sun had started to sink earlier each day, the balmy nights long gone.
At that moment he should’ve been back in Owen’s bed after a diner breakfast and an extension of the previous night’s date. Maybe Owen would’ve taken Liam for a walk, the two of them strolling hand in hand through the park, wrapped only in each other. Or maybe they would’ve returned to Owen’s for more video games or to watch a movie on the couch while cuddling. And maybe for dinner Owen would have grilled something up again, giving Liam another master class while clad in the other apron, the one that saidMr. Good Lookin’ is Cookin’!Liam would’ve loved that.
He blinked back more tears, the loss getting heavier to carry as the hours went by.
“Hey.” Zach’s voice startled him and he almost dropped his phone.
“Oh, I was about to text you. I heard what happened at Bar None and-” Liam’s back hit the side of the house, the cheap siding digging into his skin as Zach got into his personal space.
“Was it you, Princess?” The nickname sounded sinister spilling from his lips, which were in an angry twist, matching the rage in his eyes.
“Wh-What?” Liam shook harder under Zach’s fury, feeling terribly unsafe. He was alone with this man in the sketchiest part of town. If something happened to him here, no one would know.
“I said, was ityou?“ Zach was so close that his breath washed over Liam’s face. “Did you rat me out?”
“No!” Liam shook his head, pressing back against the house. He thought about running but before he could take a step, Zach grabbed his jaw and Liam let out a small shriek.
“Shut the fuck up.” He leaned in even closer until his fetid breath washed over Liam’s face. “You’re lying-”
“I-I’m not-” Liam tried to reason with him, wrapping his hands around Zach’s wrist.