Page 58 of Addicted

“I think you should focus on court and not what I think about Liam.” Finn looked away but Owen still caught his pinched expression.

“I can do both.”

Finn stayed silent, eyes averted. It wasn’t like him to be reticent and it made Owen’s stomach sink but he needed to know.

“You were fine with my feelings for Liam the last time we talked. What changed? Tell me, Finn.”

“Do you really want to do this, Owen?” Finn turned and his eyes were shadowed, guilt lurking in their depths. “It’s not the time.”

“You think I can let this go now? Just spit it out.” Confusion and concern battled within him, especially as Finn took more than a minute to speak.

“You’re right.” The words were low, heavy, as if Finn didn’t want to say them. “There’s something wrong with Liam. But it’s not what you think.”

Owen frowned, bracing himself. “What do you mean?”

“I think he’s on something.”

“On something? You mean like drugs?” Owen huffed a false laugh. “That’s stupid.”

“It’s not.” Hurt flashed across Finn’s features. “Listen, you know how one of my exes, Courtney, was addicted to Oxycodone?” When Owen didn’t respond he continued anyway. “Liam is giving off the same energy. His eyes are glazed, he’s too thin, and we both saw him with the shakes.”

“He’s still grieving, Finn. He told me about everything last week. He has some problems but drug abuse isnotone of them.“ Anger began to bubble up in Owen’s chest, partnering with his protectiveness over Liam.

“And people who grieve don’t take something to make the grief go away?” Finn might have had a point but Owen wasn’t about to accept it.

“Don’t be a jerk. You’ve had it out for Liam from the start and now you’re accusing him of being a drug addict? I can’t believe you’re serious about this.” Owen realized he was raising his voice and stepped away, putting as much space between him and Finn as he could.

“This is why I didn’t want to say anything.” Finn rubbed his chin, clearly distraught.

“Then you need to be a better actor because I could see right through you.”

“Owen, please, try not to let your feelings get in the way and take a long look at him. Something is off.”

“Yeah, our friendship. Our friendship is off.” Owen didn’t know where all this rage was coming from but it was front and center and about to blast Finn right in the face. Sure, they’d argued, but they’d never fought before. Not like this.

Hurt washed across Finn’s features as he walked to the door. “You’re the one who dragged this out of me. I’m only trying to help you, like I always have. And I don’t need this. Call me when you come to your senses.” He left, slamming the door so hard that it rattled the walls.

Owen didn’t tell Liam about the fight or anything that Finn had said. He shoved it all down, deciding to deal with it after the divorce hearing. By then maybe Finn would want to apologize because he was wrong. If Liam was using drugs, then Owen would have noticed it by now; it would have shown in Liam’s work performance and day-to-day life. Liam was someone who’d suffered a loss at a tender age and had been dealing with it alone for years, bottling it up until it had come out in sobs against Owen’s shoulder. He needed a therapist, not judgment from someone who was overprotective of Owen. And getting Liam a therapist was on the long list of things Owen needed to handle after the final part of his custody battle.

Although he’d waited for this day for so long it somehow sneaked up on him and before he knew it he was in the parking lot down the street from the courthouse, sitting in his car and holding the steering wheel in a death grip. He hoped against hope that he’d still get to be in Michael’s life and, if he did, that Michael would still love him but he was having trouble finding any optimism.

Since he’d arrived way too early, he used some time to do the four-count breathing exercise Dr. Lawson had taught him. Taking in a four-second breath, he held it for four more, breathed out over another four, then paused and started over again until he could pry his hands from the wheel. It didn’t eradicate his anxiety but it reduced it, allowing Owen to slide on his poker face and walk to the courthouse.

It was a gorgeous day, with small puffy clouds dotting a bright blue sky and not too hot for midsummer. Owen looked around his old town, feeling nostalgic as he took in the cute lampposts and flowers that lined the streets, the farmer’s market set up in the lot across from the police station, and the quaint shops and restaurants. He had liked living here but, truth be told, it didn’t feel like home anymore. His new town had taken that title and Owen was sure Liam had something to do with that.

The short walk lifted Owen’s mood, which lingered even as he entered the courthouse and was ushered to a small waiting room. For the millionth time, Owen wondered where Michael was. If he was getting enough to eat. If Sharon cared enough to treat him right, to make sure he was tucked into bed every night. If he had his favorite Fruit Roll-Ups. If he liked his new school. Was he going to school? Was he getting to play outside? Did he make any new friends? Did he miss his father?

His father certainly missed him. Maybe they’d be able to see each other in a few days. Owen wasn’t a religious man but he sent a small plea upward, to where he thought the heavens might be, for his son to come back for him.

The door opened and Freddy strode in, files and briefcase in hand. Owen stood, ready for anything.

But when he saw the mixture of frustration and sorrow on Freddy’s face his blood ran cold and his heart sank into the floor.

20

LIAM

Liamstaredatthelittle oblong white pills in his hand. It was amazing how those tiny tablets could change his reality so much. They affected his mood, his outlook, his mental and physical health, and his bank account. And if he didn’t give them up soon, they would affect his relationship with Owen as well.