Page 45 of Victorious: Part I

Sitting up in my bed, my fingers gently stroke through my daughter’s soft blonde locks while she sleeps curled up against my body, I find myself listening.

Concentrating hard on Poppy’s breathing.

Making sure she still is.

The thought alone scares the living shit out of me.

Clenching my eyes tight to try to rid those feelings from my mind, but a memory slams into my head like a sledgehammer.

“Fuck! Pres, I think I found her,” Dutch said in a soft voice.

I turned, bolting toward him, but he stepped in front of me, gripping my shoulders. “I don’t think you want to see this, Pres.”

“Dutch, get the fuck out of my way, or so help me God,” I grit the words out through my teeth.

Dutch dropped his chin to his chest and slowly stepped to the side, showing me a small body.

Big enough to be a five-year-old girl.

Singed beyond recognition.

I knew it was her. My little Princess Poppy. The pink stuffed pig sitting on top of her burned body. A pain surged through me so intensely I couldn’t control it. I dropped to my knees, screaming in utter agony. My hands resting on her singed flesh, still so fucking hot to touch, the heat instantly burning my skin.

Jerking my eyes open from the horrific memory, my hand recoils from Poppy’s soft hair as if her touch burns me still. The sudden movement wakes her from her sleep. Her gentle murmurs as she shifts beside me push me to control my inner demons.

“Daddy?” she whispers, scrubbing at her sleepy eyes, then glances up at me.

Forcing a fake smile, I slide my hand to her smooth cheek. “Morning. Did you sleep okay?”

She shifts her legs to sit on her knees, furrowing her brows at me in a clearly judgmental way. “I did…did you?”

Raising my brow at her sass, I huff. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

She frowns, shifting forward to cuddle me. “I love you, that’s all.”

Embracing her tightly, I lean down, kissing her hair. “I’m okay, Princess. I promise. I just want to make sure that you’re doing all right. You shouldn’t have been there for that yesterday.”

Poppy’s eyes meet mine in clear disappointment. “I think you always remember me as the girl who left. The innocent one who was taken…” She smiles. “But I’mnotthat girl anymore, Daddy.”

My stomach clenches hearing her words. I’ve known that ever since she came back.

She’s absolutely right.

Poppy 2.0 isnotthe little girl who left me.

She’s stronger, tougher, and definitely more capable.

But she’s stillmylittle girl, and I will doeverythingin my power to protect her from harm, enemies, and emotions that are too big for her to understand.

“I know you’re not, but it’s also okay to feel whatever it is you need to feel. You just lost your mother. It’s okay to not be okay.”

Poppy sniffles and cuddles into me again. “You know, Dad,youlost her too. And I totally get that you’re the big man around here, but it’s okay foryounot to be okay.” The little shit throws my words back at me.

Letting out a small chuckle, I hold her tighter. “Okay, point taken.” I let out a long breath, just holding onto her tighter. “I’m sorry, Poppy. I’m sorry your mom got caught up in all this shit.”

She glances up at me, her eyes glistening. “I think you’re too hard on yourself.”

Jerking my head back, my brows scrunch in confusion. “Huh?”

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