Page 76 of The Man Made of Smoke

The figure laughed.

You’re assuming they’re the only people I’ve killed.

My subconscious sounded like it was mocking me. I felt frustration building up inside me and forced it down.

I am, I thought. Yes. But Occam’s razor tells us not to multiply entities unnecessarily. So right now, I’m working with the facts I have. Perhaps there have been others—it’s possible you’ve hurt a lot of people over the years—but those are the only victims I know you’ve targeted.

The voice was silent for a moment.

When it spoke next, the mockery was gone. It sounded serious now. Angry. Because however clever and careful he was, this was a man built on fragile foundations, and he wouldn’t enjoy being challenged.

How do I kill them?

I sipped my coffee.

I didn’t know the answer to that question for certain, but in two cases I knew enough. Graham Lloyd had been the victim of a brutal, sustained assault; Rose Saunders’s body had been discovered with blade marks on the bones. Whatever the actual cause of death, I had no doubt they had both suffered tremendously.

Violently, I thought.

Horrifically.

And what does that tell you about me?

That you hate your victims, I thought. That you see them as blameworthy. In your mind, they deserve to be punished. They didn’t help you that day, and now you want them to suffer for it.

The answer seemed intuitive.

And yet when the figure spoke again, the voice sounded surprised.

Really?it said.You think it’s as straightforward and obvious as that? I’m disappointed in you, doctor. Did you get your degree from one of those books your father used to love?

I waited.

If I hated them and wanted to hurt them, why wouldn’t I just do it?

Doesn’t what I’m doing suggest something… more?

Again, I didn’t reply.

Because that was true; it did suggest something more. If the man simply wanted to punish the people who had been at the rest area that day, he had the ability and opportunity to do so. But instead, he put them through a terrible ordeal and then gave them a choice. If they did nothing, they would be spared. If they did the right thing, they would be killed next.

And that didn’t fit with hating them for doing nothing in the past. Ifthe motivation was to punish them for failing to do the right thing back then, why reward them for behaving in that same selfish way now?

Behind me, the figure laughed to itself softly.

I looked ahead of me, through the glass doors. Sarah blew smoke off to one side on the deck, and I watched as it was snatched quickly away by the wind. The rain was picking up too. It felt like the ferry was taking us into a storm.

The truth is you have no idea what I’m doing, the figure said.

You’ve spent your whole life avoiding thinking about me. Pretending you could just leave what you did to me behind. Protecting yourself. But you were never safe. I was always there.

I watched as Sarah stubbed out her cigarette. Then she turned around, and just for a second, the rain on the glass changed her face into a smear. In my mind’s eye, I pictured the photograph I’d found at the rest area that day.

I blinked quickly. The figure behind me laughed softly again.

You said it was impossible to be sure without meeting me, it said.

But don’t worry.

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