Page 42 of The Man Made of Smoke

“What are you doing here?”

“Checking on my girl.” He nodded down the lane. “Making sure she got home safe. She doesn’t always make the best decisions when she’s been drinking.”

“Who does?” I said.

A beat of silence.

“Two of you seemed pretty cozy,” he said.

“She’s an old friend. We haven’t seen each other in a long time. It was nice to catch up.”

“Is that right?”

“Yes,” I said. “That is right. And obviously, I also wanted to make sure she got home safely. And so here we both are.”

He didn’t reply.

If something was going to happen, it would be now. His body language was difficult to read, but I could almost see the attack he was thinking of in his posture, just not quite fully formed yet. For a couple of seconds, the situation was balanced on a knife edge, and the tension sang in the air in the short distance between us.

Then I felt him relax a little.

“Here we both are,” he said. “That’s right.”

“And now here you are, because I’m going home. Good night, Liam.”

He was blocking the pavement, and clearly had no intention of moving aside for me. But I allowed him his moment of dominance, stepping into the road, aware of that tension circling around me as I walked past him.

I was about to turn the corner when he called out behind me.

“Just watch yourself, Dan.”

I didn’t turn around. “In what sense should I watch myself?”

“Remember why you’re here. That’s all. You’re veryclever. So do what you need to do, and then go back where you went.”

He probably intended his tone to be menacing, but I also detected an undercurrent of resentment to his words. Like so many of the people who grew up on this little island and never left, perhaps in his own way he felt trapped here too.

Do what you need to do, and then go back where you went.

“Yes,” I said. “I will.”

“And you know what? If it had been me there that day at the rest area, I’d have done something.”

I waited.

“I’d have done something to save that poor kid.”

And again, I said nothing. The temptation to turn back was strong, and I didn’t quite trust myself not to give into that if I replied.

So instead I just nodded to myself. And then I walked away.

Despite my jacket I was shivering slightly as I reached my father’s house. The confrontation with Liam had not only dumped adrenaline into my system, it had left me angry. I knew that it was better to walk away, but doing so had brought back that same sense of shame I remembered from childhood.

Which brought my thoughts back to my father.

After locking the front door, I headed straight up to his room.

What Sarah had told me earlier was true. Whatever his faults, my father had been a good man. He had loved me. The words I had imagined him speaking in here earlier had come from my subconscious: a reflection of my own thoughts. It had been the grief and anger and frustration that were simmering inside me releasing a bubble to the surface.

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