Page 59 of Divine

My shoulders dropped as an audible sigh escaped me. Before the air left my lungs, I could already feel my disposition shifting. When had I ever been able to tell her no?

“Divine, you aren’t even going to remember this in the morning,” I repeated.

“Well, what’s the harm? Just spend the night, Liam. I’m tired of sleeping alone. Do you know how lonely this shit is?”

My head fell to the side as I considered her words. I didn’t want her to call up one of her fuck boys and have them to come over out of desperation and loneliness, but I knew that I was already toeing a fine line by being here at this point. If she asked me again, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from giving her everything she thought she needed and more.

“I’ll sleep on the couch,” I offered.

“The one in my room?” she pled, clasping her hands together. “Please? You know I’m used to having a house full of people. Living alone gets so lonely.”

“So, you really wanted to fuck me as a ‘I’m feeling sorry for myself tonight’ thing?” I quizzed.

“I don’t know.” She shrugged.

I shook my head. “Figures.”

“You already agreed to stay. You can’t back out.”

“Didn’t say I was.”

“Come on. You can watch whatever you want,” she said, seemingly satisfied with the outcome.

“Go ahead. I need to use the bathroom first,” I said, picking up her clothes as I trailed behind her.

“Don’t try to sneak out. Use the one in my room.”

I simply chuckled. She was too much for words sometimes. Divine was spoiled long before I encountered her, and I was doing everything in my power to keep it that way. I loved that not just anyone could access her. Her standards were high, but tonight, she seemed to lower them to set her sights on me.

I couldn’t do anything that would jeopardize what we had. Divine meant everything to me. As much as I loved her, I was strong enough to know that I would rather love her from afar than to lose her as a friend or hurt her due to not knowing how to show her the love she deserved.

Tomorrow this would all be a blur for her, but as I stepped into the bathroom with her panties dangling from the same fingertips that were still saturated with her juices, I knew it was a night that I would never forget. I locked the door before walking over and turning on the sink. With my back to the mirror and my eyes on the door I envisioned the caramel skinned beauty on the other side. Visions of her face as she almost made herself cum on my fingers made my dick throb.

I leaned against the counter, unbuttoning my jeans as I fisted the head of my dick. I wrapped her laced panties around my length and used them to stroke my dick. I switched hands, sticking my fingers in my mouth and tasting her sweetness, letting it coat my tongue as cum oozed from my dick and seeped down onto the fabric of her panties. I was so open for her that it was sickening.

There had to be a name for the ailment that made me crave and obsess over Divine the way I did. For a long time, I was able to play my position and stand in my assigned place in the background. One day, something shifted, and I’ve never been the same. I think it was the fact that she noticed me and genuinely wanted to know more about me. She broke through the armor I put around my heart with one smile.

My chest rose and fell slowly as I closed my eyes and relished the feeling, wishing that my dick was wedged between her slick walls. Once I regained my composure, I wadded up her panties and shoved them in my pocket. Turning to the sink, I washed my hands and splashed some water on my face. Just for tonight, I would hold her. Tomorrow, we could forget the whole thing.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, she was sprawled out in bed with her mouth wide open. Soft snores filled the room, indicating that she was asleep. I chuckled to myself as I walked over and covered her with the comforter. I kissed her forehead. My eyes fell to her lips, but I resisted the urge to put mine on hers.

We had already crossed the line. I needed to back pedal. Since she was asleep, I went back to the original plan, grabbing the throw blanket from the foot of her bed as I headed over to the couch. A sigh of exasperation left me as I settled in and covered myself with the blanket. This woman was going to be the death of me. At this point, I was sure that when the time came, I wouldn’t regret it.

If wakingup with my naked ass tucked into my own bed like a toddler wasn’t enough of a reminder of my behavior last night, Liam asleep on my bedroom couch brought it all home. I was mortified by the way I had acted.

What would I have done if we had sex? What did I expect? For us to skip off happily into the sunset and live happily ever after with my family’s blessing? I was sure that was yet another delusion brought on by me constantly choosing the wrong men.

Thankfully, Liam was always a gentleman. It didn’t matter that I wanted him or how sexy I thought he was. He worked for Syre. The job description came with a death threat. Even if it didn’t, I wanted more than a few casual rolls in the hay.

My desire for a deeper connection was part of the reason for my six months of celibacy. At the rate I was going, it would probably be six years before I found someone worthy of welcoming into my bed. Liam was the only man I could deem worthy of my time. He was the only one who got me and really saw me for the real me and not the spoiled diva of the Dark Reign family dynasty. At least, I thought he did until he so vehemently turned my ass down.

I had humiliated myself by getting naked in front of him. Granted, I would never have done anything like that if I were sober. They say a drunk mind speaks of sober thoughts. Over time, Liam had become a friend and confidant. He was the only one who saw the nights I spent going on dates, hoping and wishing that I would find someone worth my time.

Every single time it didn’t work out, I found comfort in knowing that at least Liam would be there for me. Night after night, I found solace in his friendship and company. I couldn’t believe that I had almost ruined everything just because I was drunk and horny. Not that I didn’t see him as a man that any girl would be lucky to have. I just knew he wasn’t the man for me.

Liam had seen too much of my baggage to want to be with me. He knew how damaged I was. I couldn’t blame him for wanting nothing to do with me. I owed him an apology for what I could recall of my behavior. The least I could do was make him breakfast.

“I can’t believe you’re up already.” His smooth baritone cloaked me like a warm hug as I looked up from my task of adding honey butter to the biscuits I had made from scratch.

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