Page 74 of Seeking Shadows

He wakes up with a sharp gasp, his dark eyes snapping open, darting around the room before they settle on me. For a second, he doesn’t seem to recognize me. Then his expression shifts, his brow knitting in irritation.

“What are you doing here?” His voice is hoarse, thick with sleep and exhaustion.

My stomach sinks. Of course he doesn’t want me here. I knew it. I always knew it.

“You were having a nightmare.”

He stares at me for a long, heavy moment before looking away. He sits up on the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees. His shoulders are stiff, his breaths deep and uneven. After a few moments, he exhales a long, weary sigh.

“That’s what’s been happening lately. The nightmares.”

“About what?”

He runs a hand through his hair, and for a moment, I think he won’t answer. Then he speaks, his voice quiet, reluctant.

“My past.”

My heart stumbles.

“Talk to me.”

He nods but still won’t meet my gaze.

“I know Rachel Wayne. She used to be the nurse at my school, when I was in middle school, up until I graduated. I don’t even know how she ended up in the Mafia.”

“I thought your school was full of Mafia leaders.”

“It was, but it’s a selective thing. Not all students are involved in that world. And the teachers weren’t exactly a hidden group, they were a secret society, you know?”

“I get it, but Zane, Rachel Wayne was always around my father.” I murmur, the thought of her makes me sick. She was the one who gave me the sedatives, the same woman who treated me like a lab rat. Always cruel, always controlling. One day, I bit her. I’m sure that didn’t go over well.

“She didn’t recognize me,” Zane murmurs, and I catch something raw in his voice, something vulnerable.

“Zane...”

“I was in middle school. It was dodgeball class. Abby hit me by accident, and I ended up in the nurse’s office. She started talking about this boy I kissed, about how wrong it was, then she gave me some medicine. When I woke up, she told me she’d ‘fixed’ me. But I felt… dirty. Violated. I knew what she had done, but I had no way to prove it. And I knew no one would believe me. Or believe that I didn’t want it. I thought about telling my mom, but when I got home, she was sleeping with one of her boyfriends… not even caring that I was watching.”

He lets out a bitter laugh. “How fucked up is that?”

“Very, Zane. That’s fucked up.”

“It doesn’t compare to what you’ve been through.”

“Stop comparing pains.” I say, my voice gentle but firm. “Your pain is yours, Zane. My past doesn’t diminish yours.”

And tomorrow, I’m going to kill that bitch.

“It’s hard when you don’t share yours with me, Mia.”

“My pain?” I ask, my voice barely a whisper. “Well, I’m terrified that my dad will retaliate for what happened today. I see James sometimes, and my thoughts get so tangled. He made me believe that everything I went through was ‘love,’ that all the pain meant nothing because it was all part of this twisted ‘new love.’ And now, I don’t know how to react to people. I grew up being abused by people who were supposed to protect me, and my brain decided to escape. Sometimes, I don’t even know how to act.”

“It’s not about how to act, it’s about this. You’re talking about your feelings. That’s a good thing.”

“I like doing this with you. Talking. Because I know you really care.”

“I care,” he murmurs, his voice barely a whisper.

“He said he loved me, but he was just manipulating me.”

---