Page 147 of Seeking Shadows

“Coming from you, it is,” Lara says, then does something that surprises me. She hugs me. Tight. Like she’s missed me.

“I’m glad you’re still my friend, even though after this conversation I don’t think you’ll want to be.”

I stare at her, studying every nuance of her expression.

“You don’t look mad.”

Lara lets out a short, humorless laugh. “You think I’m not?”

I don’t know. She looks tired.

Taking a sip of tea, I try to read her. I’ve known her for such a short time, but it’s hard to imagine Lara being the kind of person who buckles under the weight of guilt. But she’s here. And for some reason, I’m not dead.

She runs her fingers over her knee, gathering her courage. “I knew it.”

I frown. “Knew what?”

Her eyes meet mine, and for the first time, I see a trace of hesitation there.

“From the beginning,” she says, exhaling slowly, her voice barely above a whisper. “I knew how Carter died.”

I don’t say anything. I just watch her, the way her eyes avoid mine, like the truth might shatter between us if she looks too closely.

“I lied,” Lara admits, voice unsteady. “I said I didn’t have a sister. But I did.”

She pauses, her jaw tightening before she goes on.

“Her name was Elise. She was the best of us. Kind, gentle… too gentle. After the thing with our parents, she just—she couldn’t take it. She carried it all alone, and one day, she gave up. She ended her life.”

The silence that follows is suffocating. I feel it in my throat, in my chest, like I can’t breathe right.

“I found her,” Lara says, her voice cracking. “And I didn’t save Carter either. He couldn’t cope with losing her too. He spiraled—drugs, anger, shutting everyone out. And I just… watched it happen. I didn’t stop him. I didn’t know how.”

She looks at me then, eyes red, but honest. “I blamed myself. I still do.”

I want to say something, anything, but she keeps going.

“You know… I think that’s why Carter was so cruel to you,” she says. “Because you reminded him of her.”

I blink, unsure I heard right.

“Not just the way you laugh or the softness in your voice… it was the way you care,” Lara says, her voice low, steady in that heartbreaking kind of way. “You reminded him of who she used to be. And I think that scared him. Made him angry in a way he couldn’t explain. Because loving someone again felt like betrayal. And you brought that back.”

She lets out a breath, shaky, tired. “That’s why he never let you in as a friend. I mean… I knew he was in love with Zane. But I also knew he was in love with this version of Zane he had built in his head. This perfect, untouchable thing that was never real. I kept telling myself he’d snap out of it eventually. That he’d see people for who they really were.”

Lara swallows hard. Her voice falters.

“I just wish he did that before it was too late.”

She shakes her head slowly, eyes glassy with everything she’s been holding back.

“It wasn’t fair to you. And I’m sorry. For all of it. For being so damn stupid. For not telling you sooner. For letting you carry the weight of something you never should’ve been part of.”

My stomach tightens.

Lara looks away, staring at the empty space in front of us. “I also let Zane think it was you.”

The silence weighs heavily between us.

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