Page 118 of Fake Dating My Best Friend

I push against his chest and fling myself off the desk. My legs feel like overcooked spaghetti, wobbly and unreliable. The loss of his touch and his warmth feels like losing my air supply, but I refuse to let my body betray me.

“This was a mistake. My brain wasn’t thinking straight when I suggested this. Which happens a lot lately, but—” I wave between us frantically. “But us kissing is a completely ridiculous, very bad idea. And I promise—no, I swear—it won’t happen again.”

“It wasn’t a mistake for me.” His eyes darken. “And I know you feel it too, Isla. The way it’s burning between us.”

I do.

That’s the problem.

“Yes. I do, which is exactly why we can’t do this.” I take another step back, shaking my head. “If we ever want our friendship to last forever.”

His jaw tightens. “I don’t just want our friendship. I want—”

“Stop!” I launch my hand over his mouth, silencing him before he can say something so earth-shattering that my already-overheated brain completely short-circuits. Those impossibly perfect lips that were just doing impossible things to me are now warm against my palm.

“Please stop, Asher. Don’t say it. Please.” My voice has gone from frantic to pleading.

His hand curls around my wrist, slowly pulling my hand away, but he doesn’t let go.

“I’ve been falling for you since we were kids. And I haven’t stopped. I can’t stop.”

My breath catches in my throat as his words hit me like a tidal wave.

Everything I’ve ever wanted is right here, standing in front of me, saying all the things I never let myself dream about. My heart feels like it might burst, crack open, and shatter under the weight of it.

But that’s exactly why this can’t happen.

Because this isn’t just another relationship I could survive losing—this is Asher. My rock, my safe place, the most precious relationship I’ve ever had.

I can keep loving him in the form of friendship, even if it kills me. But if we risk that friendship and fail? If I lose him? That would break me beyond repair.

The people who deserve you won’t run. They’ll stay. I’ll stay.

I could try just once more.

Maybe he would be the one who stays.

Maybe, somehow, I could be someone worth loving after all.

Haven’t you learned yet? How many times have you let yourself hope? How many times has it ended the same way?

An invisible hand squeezes my heart, tight and breath-stealing. The ache pulls up all the old wounds I tried so hard to cover and forget.

I don’t know how much of my heart would be left if it all fell apart again.

I don’t ever want to hear goodbye from Asher.

I yank my hand back hard, but he doesn’t let go. We stand in an awkward tableau, tangled in a silence that feels too loud.

“Don’t you understand?” I burst out, my voice sharp. “I can’t even be loved by myownblood-related father. How can anyone else love me?”

“I’m not your father,” Asher fires back, his grip on me tightening. “Or any other guy who was too stupid to see what they had.”

“No, you’re worse!”

I push against him with my free hand, but it’s like trying to move a mountain.

“You’re everything.” My voice rises. “Do you know what it’s like? Watching everyone leave, one by one? Having to smile through it, pretend it doesn’t break something inside you every single time?”

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