Page 46 of Speculations in Sin

“I am happy all my wickedness has not driven you away.” Daniel’s arms tightened around me. “I do need you in my life.”

“I am pleased to hear this, as I prefer you to stay in my life as well,” I said softly.

We sat still a moment, absorbing these revelations, and simply enjoying holding each other.

Daniel released me to touch my lower lip with one finger. “That is as close to a declaration that you’re fond of me as I can hope for. I will not shun it.”

I slid from his lap, praying that no one had peeked into the kitchen to see us in so intimate a position, and shook out my skirts. “Of course I am fond of you, Daniel. I’d hardly leave food back for you if I was not.”

Daniel burst out laughing, which lightened my spirits. His past life had been cruel, but it had not broken him. And perhaps one day, with my help, he could find out where he’d truly come from.

“You take food to those who live on the streets, so I imagine you are fond of them too.” Daniel’s grin made the kitchen brighter.

“You are very silly. I feel sorry forthem. But for you—compassion, yes, pity, no.”

Daniel leaned back in his chair while I moved to the stove to pour hot water from the kettle into the now-empty teapot. I carried the teapot to the table, setting it aside to steep, and resumed my seat and my notebook.

“I am pleased I have your compassion,” Daniel said, more seriously.

“Why would you not? Now, we must pool all our resources to help poor Sam, whom I do pity at present. Do you think I could speak to him? I’d like to hear his side of the story.”

“As would I, and I think we might be the only ones to listen to it. I will see what I can do.” Daniel turned his mug around, impatient for tea to be brewed enough to drink. “If Miss Townsend has found him a solicitor in addition to the barrister, we might be able to sit in on that conference with him.”

“I’d rather speak to him alone, friend to friend. A solicitor is supposed to help him, but Sam might be reticent in front of one.”

“I take your point. I will do my best to procure an appointment.”

I skimmed through the notes I’d made, a sudden shyness coming over me. I’d learned more about Daniel tonight but also more about myself and my feelings for him. Me spontaneously launching myself at him unnerved me a bit. We’d shared plenty of kisses by now, but I’d never simply leapt into his arms. That he had caught me made me flush with heat.

Daniel watched me with his usual verve—there was never anything shy about Daniel.

I poured tea when sufficient time had passed, and I banished my shyness to go over what we knew and what we could do. Daniel restated that he’d get word to Mr. Kearny that I wanted to meet and to the governors at Newgate to find a way in to see Sam. He also promised to keep an eye on Inspector McGregor and find out what he knew as soon as the inspector knew it.

Finally, Daniel drained his mug and heaved himself regretfully to his feet. “As always, I hate to say good night to you, but I am not selfish enough to keep you from sleep.” He stepped closer to me as I rose, his breath touching my face. “Also, I do not want to shock Mrs. Redfern, or Davis, or heaven forbid,Mrs. Bywater, by being here with you when they enter in the morning.” He laughed softly. “What might we have been getting up to, eh?”

My blush must have been obvious, because the laughter increased. I stepped away from him.

“You are quite right, Mr. McAdam. I’d be out a place if that happened. Good night to you.”

Daniel wasn’t the least bit contrite. He shrugged on the coat he’d hung up and pulled on gloves, squashing his flat cap in his hands. I walked with him to the door, mostly to make certain he actually left, but also to lock up after him.

Before he slid out the door I opened for him, Daniel closed his hand around the lapel of my work dress, gently pulled me to him, and kissed my mouth.

The cold scullery, the wintry draft coming through the open door, and the dark loneliness evaporated like dew in the sunshine. I savored the kiss, the world narrowing to only Daniel and me, understanding each other and enjoying the warmth.

Daniel eased from the kiss, touched my cheek, then gave me a brazen wink before he slapped his cap to his head and swept out the door. I heard his bootsteps on the stairs as he faded into the darkness, then his cheerful whistling.

I let out a breath, shut the door and bolted it, and turned around to find Mr. Davis standing in the kitchen doorway.

He had been there long enough to see the kiss, I knew from his stillness. I braced myself for admonishment, a lecture that Daniel McAdam was a man from the gutter and that I could do so much better. He’d told me such things before.

Mr. Davis said nothing. His expression remained neutral, neither condemning nor forgiving.

“Mr. McAdam and I have been walking out together, as you know.” I attempted to keep the nervous quaver from my voice.“Nothing untoward, I assure you. I doubt very much it will be more than that.”

Mr. Davis entered the kitchen, saying nothing until he was closer to me. In the dim light, I saw that he’d left off his hairpiece. He was not entirely bald, but had a receding hairline that left the crown of his head bare. He did not look unattractive without the fussy hairpiece, but men are vain about such things.

“Your daughter?” he said, as though asking me to confirm her existence. “How old is she?”

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