Page 26 of Speculations in Sin

Joanna would have to begin economizing, no matter what happened, I speculated as I glanced around the kitchen. The bank would no doubt suspend Sam’s pay packet, and I had no idea if he had any savings. Once Sam was freed, he’d likely have to—and want to—seek other employment.

I pictured the lump of money hidden in my wardrobe. I’d gladly dip into that to assist Joanna until all this was settled.

I did not tell the cook or Carrie, the maid of all work, what had transpired. I told them only that Joanna was low and would need help today. They’d learn of the troubles soon enough.

When the tea and pie were ready, I carried the tray upstairs myself and sat next to Joanna until she ate a bit. There was no sign of the children—I imagined Grace was keeping them out of the way. She was a perceptive young lady.

Once Joanna was drinking tea and a little quieter, I went in search of Grace.

I found her at the back of the house in the room Sam had set aside for himself as a study. His sons and daughters used this chamber as a schoolroom during the day, with Joanna as their teacher. When I peeked in, Grace and the two boys and two girls were playing a game that involved drawing numbers on sheets of paper. I beckoned to Grace, and she happily left them to it and joined me in the small dining room.

“Now, my dear,” I said, once we’d seated ourselves on the worn wooden dining chairs. “I need to tell you something, and I do not want you to be afraid.”

Grace’s eyes rounded. “Is Aunt Joanna ill, Mum? Is this what the fuss is about?”

It was not an unreasonable question. So many, even in these times, suffered from deadly ailments that such an occurrence was unfortunately commonplace.

“No, indeed,” I said. “Joanna is in robust health, as am I. It concerns Sam.” I explained to her, patiently and clearly, what had happened. Grace’s face lost color as she, who’d never been a fool, understood every implication of Sam’s arrest. “Daniel will never let him stay in prison,” I finished, trying to sound reassuring. “He will be home soon, mark my words.”

“I will pray for him,” Grace said, her face serious.

“You do that. Say a prayer on my behalf as well.” I smoothed her hair, which was growing thick and luxuriant. “Give Joanna your strength and your help. She will need it, poor lamb.”

“Uncle Samuel is a good man,” Grace said without hesitation. “Whatever he is accused of, it is a mistake.”

“I agree with you, but now, we must make the magistrates believe that.” I sighed. “I will not hide from you that it will be a difficult task.”

“Because Uncle knew bad men growing up,” Grace said in her frank way. “He’s told me stories about when he was a boy, I think to teach me what kinds of people not to trust. But he reformed himself into a fine man. I hope I can marry someone like him.”

Hearing twelve-year-old Grace speak so matter-of-factly about marriage made my heart constrict. I was certainly not ready forthatyet.

“No matter what happens, I will always take care of you,” I told her. “Never doubt that for a moment.”

“I don’t.” Grace’s smile flashed. “You cook so I can live here instead of in a workhouse or orphanage. I’ve told you, when I grow up, you will be able to put up your feet, and I’ll look afteryou.”

If she had a husband and children of her own to take up her time, she might not have much left for her old mum. But perhaps I could have a corner where I could sit and play with my grandchildren. An idyllic scene.

“Or you will marry Daniel, and we’ll all live in his little house in Kensington.”

I jolted from my misty visions back to the plain dining room, cold rain falling outside the window. “Now, do not start with that again. Mr. McAdam is at the mercy of his job. When he’s done with that, what if he doesn’t have two coins to rub together? Where would we be then?”

“Together,” Grace said.

The simple word made me stop.

I’d been avoiding thinking about the hint Daniel had given me that he’d like what we had to grow into something more permanent. I’d panicked, uncertain what to do. While Daniel was far more honorable than the man who’d tricked me into a bigamous marriage had ever dreamt of being, I had not been in a position to encourage Daniel at that time.

Since then, Daniel had spoken nothing of our connection. He came around to the kitchen several nights a week when he was in London and took Grace and me when he could to sights on my Thursdays out. He and Grace had become closer, but he’d ceased terrifying me by telling me he considered me his young lady. We’d studiously not mentioned the subject.

Together. Me, Grace, Daniel, and James. A family. As it should be.

“Let us not put the cart before the horse,” I said, pulling myself back to the present. “Let us help Joanna through her time of trouble, and then we will see what the future brings.”

“Yes, Mum.” Grace’s answer was obedient, but her eyes held wisdom.

* * *

I remained at the house until after darkness fell—night began quite early in January. I sat with Joanna while she explained to her sons and daughters why their father wasn’t coming home that evening.

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