But he would never ask, she realized, and that understanding made the tears prickling in her eyes burn all the more.
Not that she would cry. Not here. Not now.
She breathed in deeply, did her best to compose herself, squared her shoulders back, and left the safety of the alcove. It would be in her best interest to locate her chaperone and to leave. Instead, she almost walked straight into the one person she did not wish to see.
The duke.
Louisa took a step back and dipped into a curtsey. “If you will excuse me…”
“Ah, yes. Would not want people to think we… ah…” He fiddled with the collar of his shirt. “I…”
“Yes.” She gathered her skirt and moved to walk around him.
“Are you having a good time?” he asked.
A good time? Certainly not. Louisa sighed. “I have had a few surprises this evening.”
The duke half-smiled. “I can well understand that. Silly rumor. That’s one of the surprises, I take it? That we are somehow engaged when I have not… we have not…” He shrugged. “I assure you I am not the source of this rumor. I would never dream of such a thing. I mean, not that marrying you is something I would never contemplate. It is not a…” He took a deep breath. “Please forgive me. My thoughts are all jumbled since I first heard someone congratulate me for a proposal I never uttered!”
Despite herself, Louisa gave him a small smile. “I do not blame you for being befuddled. I am myself.”
Although she had a strong suspicion as to who had been the original voice of the rumor—her mother.
He rocked onto his heels. “It may come as a surprise, but I was not intending to propose.”
“Oh?”
Their names have been tentatively linked for some time now. Her mother had first suggested the union two years previously although now she was a much stauncher supporter of the match. Louisa had never bothered to learn what exactly the duke thought of her or the possibility of them being wed one day. Her heart had always belonged to Jonathan so the duke’s opinion had not mattered to her one way or the other.
It was not as if the duke was a terrible man or an ugly one. Perhaps ladies wished him for themselves. He was a good man, a kind one even, but he did not lay claim to Louisa’s heart.
The duke furrowed his brows. “Who would want to wed a woman who loves another?”
Louisa’s cheeks burned. Before Jonathan’s father lost their estate, Louisa had seen no reason to hide her feelings for him, and he had shown his. Everyone knew they loved each other, but that everyone still knew how strongly they felt caused Louisa to flinch. She had no choice but to resort to sneaking time with Jonathan. Despite his one day being an earl, Jonathan’s status was quickly being reduced to that of an outsider.
“Have you ever known love?” she asked.
“I am afraid to say I have not.”
She stared at her gloved hands. “If you had, then you would understand. It is like… when I first met my dog, Linda, it was amazing. She lit up my world. I had to have her as my pet. And with…” Louisa shook her head. “Now I am the one to confess and beg for an apology. This is a terrible analogy, and I do not even know where I was trying to go with it.”
“You love dogs?”
“Yes. Linda is a Border Collie.”
“Ah. I have a dog as well. A small little one that will nip at your toes if you go too long between giving him attention. Dogs are so loyal and true. You know…” He smiled at her, wide and generous. “I am part dog myself.”
She laughed, which startled her. “And me?”
“More a cat, I say. Proper. Gracious.”
He stared at her in a way similar to that Jonathan had many a time, and she forced herself not to retreat a step. The Duke of Harrow was a true gentleman, and she knew she should feel lucky that he had expressed interest in her. Indeed, if she had met the duke previous to her befriending Jonathan, would she have fallen for Harrow instead?
How her mother would have preferred that!
“Louisa… if I may call you by your name?”
She nodded, dropping her gaze to the floor.