Page 95 of The Best of Us

She made a little harumph noise, her lips rolling with it.

My dick twitched, and she keyed in on the movement in my jeans.

“Well then, can I at least ask you something?”

“Another handshake deal?” I smirked, gently tugging her hand. “What shall we agree upon now?”

She finally averted her eyes from my crotch so I could breathe again. “How about our son taking your last name?”

And like that, the breath from my lungs was gone again.

“Carmichael was never meant to be Colin’s last name.”

She waited for me to respond while I waited for my heart to be revived.

“I know he’ll want to be a Costa.Iwant him to be a Costa.”

I tightened my grip on her hand, staring at her unblinking as emotion packed a heavy punch. My heart didn’t start up, but my legs did give out. I dropped to one knee, then the other, my elbows landing on the bed.

She leaned forward and palmed my cheek, a soft caress of her skin over my stubbled jawline. “This isn’t the bourbon,” she whispered. “Well, I suppose it is lulling the truth from my lips more easily. But it doesn’t change the fact that it’s the truth.”

At her continued touch and my continued silence, her eyes on me felt like a touch of light sparking up amid darkness.

“Stages of grief,” she murmured, reminding me I was cycling between them.

“What about the stages of shock? Is that a thing?” My voice was as raw and stripped down as I felt.

“I think so.” She scooted closer, drawing her hand up and into my hair, massaging my scalp, making me a little lightheaded. “So?”

I wanted to tell her I wanted more than Colin to have my last name. I wanted her to have it, too. But I kept that to myself, not yet ready to admit that to her.

“I’d like that.” I worked the knot of emotion down the back of my throat. “Any other deals or questions you have for me while we wait for dinner?” I forced a smile, working to push away the emotions whilenotpushing her away. I was a man of my word, after all.

“I have another one, but it’s also outside basic territory.”

“I think it’s safe to say we’re already far from basics. You can ask me whatever you want, as long as it’s not to get in that bed with you, and I’ll answer.”

“Okay.” She continued to run her short nails at the side of my head. “This room reminds me of Aruba. Why?”

My gaze shot to the scars on my arm. “Anything but getting in that bed with youortalking about the bed.” Before I could say more, my phone beeped from a notification. “That’s the food. We should eat.” Seeing her downturned mouth and knowing I’d made it that way sent me to my feet. “I will tell you, I promise. It’s just not whatever you’re thinking.”

She gave a slight nod. “Oh.”

Shit.“It is what you think, but not for . . .” I was fucking this up. “This bed, this room, is because of you, yes. But there’s a story behind it.” I’d do anything to protect her from her own negative thoughts, even if it meant living through the pain of mine.

“I don’t understand.” She chewed on her lip.

“You will. Soon. You will.” I tossed my thumb over my shoulder. “The food.”

“Right. The food.” She faked a smile. I could already tell the difference between her real ones and her manufactured ones, and it hurt that she’d felt the need to produce one on my behalf. “I don’t want Colin to see me like this. I’m acting okay now, but the second I try to walk, we’re going to have problems.”

Got it.“I’ll bring your food here. We’ll eat together. I’m sure he’ll be fine with eating in his room.” I wasn’t sure I could get through a family dinner anyway.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Of course. Anything for you.”

I took off after that as the swell of emotions crested inside me and quickly grabbed the food from the lobby.

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