Page 114 of The Best of Us

“Please,” I whispered.

He buried his face against my neck, his body tense, the note pressed between us. “I asked for forgiveness last night,” he murmured, his free hand stroking my hair. “This note brought me to you and Colin, so . . . I—I did.”

“You need to forgive yourself, too, though.”

His breath hitched against my skin before he whispered, “I’ll try.”

We stood like that, wrapped in silence, until I felt his body shift, his tension hardening into something else.

“There’s not much more to tell you,” he said, reading my thoughts. “You already know we went on the hunt after she died. Took the life of the man we believed to be her killer. What you don’t know is that when we were arrested, my father used his connections to keep us out of prison.”

He pulled back slowly, blinking away the moisture in his eyes. His lashes were damp, dark, and impossibly thick. He deserved so much more than what the world had given him.

With a steady hand, he folded up the note and tucked it back into his wallet, his voice shifting colder and more detached when he continued, “My father did that behind our backs. We didn’t know until recently that he was responsible for changing the trajectory of our lives. The deal he made required my brothers and me to work for the government. He effectively turned us into the kind of man he’d been in Italy working for The League.”

Contract killer.

“There’s a lot of bureaucracy in tracking down criminals and terrorists. My brothers and I became tools for the U.S. government. We helped them bypass the proper channels for dealing with enemies, both foreign and domestic.”

He slid his hat back on, angling it forward, shielding his eyes. Probably not wanting Colin to see them red when he came downstairs.

“I know this all sounds bad. My father thought he was doing what was best for us. But he forced us into a life we didn’t choose.”

I’m definitely not your father’s biggest fan, that’s for sure.

“I’d rather have gone to prison than become . . .” He lifted his chin, staring at the ceiling. “But I’ve forgiven him since.”

“So, you still do this work?”

He hesitated, rubbing his jaw. “No, but my brothers and I couldn’t really stop. It’s hard to look the other way when you have the skills to do something.” He exhaled, finally meeting my eyes. “I guess you could say we created our own version of The League here in New York without putting a label on it.”

“That’s why you were at the rave. That’s how you saved our son.” It all made sense now. But there was still more. I couldfeelit. “We don’t need to do this now,” I offered. “It’s okay.”

“I want to.” He nodded. “The man we killed after Bianca died was the wrong one.”

“I know,” I admitted softly.

His head snapped up, realization settling in.

Easton. The call. The drinking after.

“He was still a bad guy,” I added. “My brother told me.”

He stared at me like he was afraid I’d vanish if he blinked. “Carter and his people helped us get to the truth. Bianca loved someone with mafia ties. We found her real killer a year and a half ago.”

His hands settled on his hips, jaw clenching.

“But my brother’s wife was placed in danger because of that. And it wouldn’t be the first time someone we loved paid the price for our past decisions.”

I pressed my arm against my stomach, trying to steady the nervous energy twisting inside me. “This is your way of telling me your past could be dangerous to our present. That’s why you’re afraid I’ll run. That I’ll take Colin with me.”

His jaw worked left, then right. His eyes met mine, and he nodded. “My sister was taken last fall. My sister-in-law, Alessandro’s wife, as well. Consequences of our choices.”

“But you saved them.” My voice was barely above a whisper. “Like you saved us today.”

His jaw flexed, his head angling as he searched my face. “My hope is that you and Colin came into my lifenowbecause it’s safe for you to be in it.” He closed the space between us, his hand lifting to my cheek. “It’s the only thing that makes sense to me. Why you were kept away from me for so long, only to find your way back now.”

A stuttery exhalation from him pulled one out of me, too.

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