Page 40 of The Prettiest Outlaw

“Shit, I do,” I told her without remorse. “If a motherfucker plays with my daughter’s life and her general well-being, he can expect the fucking same. Fuck Santana. He was on his way to being an entitled dope fiend anyway. He just got there a little quicker. Fuck him and all of those weak motherfuckers who would spread a rumor about a young girl who hadn’t even started living life.”

“What hurt more than the rumors was the fact that, despite both me and Dorien saying they were lies, so many people were eager to believe it was true. I couldn’t go to events with my dad without some nasty old man trying to proposition me. And the ones who weren’t trying to shoot their shots treated me like shit. They treated me so badly. Everybody believed the lies and nobody believed me.

“I started hating men…males…people with penises. I was likefuck men.I announced that I didn’t even want dick because I was a lesbian.”

My eyes ballooned. “Wait. What? Repeat that?”

“Don’t get all excited, Nico.” She sucked her teeth. “I wasn’t really a lesbian. I was a fraud. I just said some shit and was forced to stand on it. I started calling myself a lesbian, so I had to start acting like I liked girls. I didn’t.” She held up her hands in a sign of surrender. “I mean, I’m a girl’s girl. I like women. I’m proud to be a woman, but I do not like vaginas.”

“Wow, lil bit. This wasnotthe conversation I saw us having over breakfast.”

“I know.” Her lip poked out in a cute pout. “I’m going to stop talking now.”

“Nah. We’re knee deep in this thing now. Tell me the rest. How is one a lesbian who doesn’t like pussy?”

She covered her face in her hands and was saved from talking when the waitress and a server brought our food to the table.

“Thanks,” I told them.

“Thank you,” Julianna said.

“Answer my question.” I grabbed the butter knife so I could cut up my pancakes.

“It was ridiculous. I was ridiculous,” she admitted. “I spent so much money taking women on dates.”

I guffawed.

“Stop laughing,” she whined. “I was taking women on dates, lying to them about my intentions, and then ghosting them. I was basically a fuck boy, but I was a fuck girl. Is that a thing? If it is, I was a fuck girl.”

“Have you ever had sex with a woman?”

“I just told you that I don’t like coochie. No, I’ve never been naked with a woman.” She paused and looked over at me conspiratorially. “I do like breasts, though. The last girl I hung out with before I quit playing in women’s faces…I sucked her breasts. I wanted to try it.”

“Did you like it?” I questioned before taking a forkful of fluffy pancakes into my mouth.

“I did…not enough for me to overlook the fact that I’m not physically attracted to women, though. I’m more so physically attracted to breasts. It wouldn’t be fair to pursue women just for the opportunity to suck their breasts.”

We both cracked up.

“It’s like roast duck to me. I tried it once, and it was good. But I’ve never had the craving to have it again,” she explained.

“Yo, I definitely feel like I know you a little better than I did when we sat down.”

“Agreed.”

“What made you give up the ruse and date men again?”

“The guy who lived in the apartment across the hall from me in college. He was real…unsuspecting. He seemed like a regular guy. We used to binge watch shows together and do homework together. It was all really innocent. There was zero sexual tension. One day, we ended up kissing instead of watching television. The next thing I knew, I was giving him my virginity.

“That bookworm bastard turned me every which way but loose. Dude ate me off the bone and had me searching for his ass in the daytime with a flashlight. He could barely go to the bathroom without me clocking his moves.

“One pregnancy scare later, and we were off of each other. I mean, he was a first generation college attendee. He had pressure from home not to get caught up with anything that would derail his education, and there was no way on God’s green earth that I could go home to Gianni Outlaw’s house knocked up. Particularly after pretending to be a lesbian for two years. A baby was out of the question. So, he and I parted ways. But the love of good dick remained.”

I laughed. Julianna was funny as hell. “His loss is my gain.”

Two WeeksLater

While I wouldn’t have described myself as being in a pit, I did have to admit that I’d been a little bit absent as far as my family went. Where I usually stopped by Jianna’s house and called or texted Jia a couple of times a week, I hadn’t done either.

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