Page 29 of The Prettiest Outlaw

I took another quick sip and realized that I was at the bottom of my glass.

“I’ll get you another one,” he offered.

“Thanks. Umm, I used to go to concerts all the time. I haven’t been to one in a minute, though. I mean, first there was the pandemic, and I just wasn’t breathing in that many people’s germs…especially since I didn’t getthe shot. Then, my daddy passed away. Since then, I don’t know. I really haven’t had much interest in concerts and stuff. For three years now, I’ve just stuck close by the house. If I need socialization, I usually go to Jianna’s.”

“Do you want to get out of the house more?”

I considered the question. There were so many things that I put down when I lost my father. A lot of them didn’t serve me. But as a former social butterfly, I did miss socializing. I didn’t want it back at the level I had it before, but I did want it.

“Yeah. I would like to get out of the house more.”

A young black guy with dreads appeared at our table holding plates filled with delicious-smelling food. He placed them down on the table, walking away after we thanked him.

Nico picked up his chicken sandwich. I tried not to watch him, but he was so…watchable? Was that even a word? There was something about him that required…no…demandedmy attention. That little sandwich practically disappeared in his extra-large hands. I watched as he lifted it to his mouth and took a bite.

Since when did a dude chewing food become sexy?I asked myself.You’re tripping.

When I brought my gaze up from his mouth, our eyes met. I blushed.

“Sorry.”

He grinned at me—his entire face lighting up. “I’m cool with you staring…as long as you’re cool with me staring back at you.”

Julianna was gorgeous.There was no getting around it. It was a waste of time to try to handle her like every part of me didn’t practically tense up every time I was near her. It was so fucking adolescent the way I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I was sitting on my couch, trying to come up with a reason to call her. I didn’t even want to text, because I actually wanted to hear her voice. She had a feminine voice, high-pitched but throaty at the same time.Sweet and sexy.That was what she was…sweet and sexy…and sad. She was definitely sad.

Grief was whooping her ass. I could definitely empathize. Being in the throes of grief was crazy work. I knew firsthand how you could go weeks and months feeling like you were finally getting back to yourself, feeling like you were coping with your loss, and handling it in a healthy manner, only to be mercilessly dragged back down into a pit when you least expected it. You could be in a busy season, up to your neck in responsibilities and things to do. You didn’t even have to look at a calendar. Somehow, your body just knew—your mind knew the person’s birthdate or death date or funeral date was approaching. And down you went.

Those moments were few and far between for me at this point, but I remembered that time in my life. I remembered when I felt like I would never be able to truly celebrate Emerald’s birthday and not just tolerate it. I didn’t think I would ever be able to smile at memories on her death date, but I got there. The fact that I got there gave me faith that Julianna would eventually get there, too.

I dialed her number.

“Hey, Nico.” Her voice was soft as it floated from my phone and into my living room since I had her on speaker.

“What’s up, lil bit? I didn’t wake you up, did I?” I quickly checked my watch. It was a little after 9:00 p.m..

“Nah. It’s early. Anyway, I don’t really sleep.”

“You don’t really sleep? What does that mean? Shit, I love sleep. Sleep is like my side chick. I’m trying to get up with her every chance I get. Her ass better not ever think about ghosting me.”

She giggled. “I wish. Sleep stay ghosting me. She’s real petty, too. Sometimes, I fall asleep right away, but then I wake up about 1:00 or 2:00 a.m., and I’m just up. I’m playing on my phone…or thinking thoughts that I don’t want to think. Other times, I lay in bed for hours and hours. By the time I finally drift off, it’s time to get up and start the day.”

“Are you one of those people who let’s stuff work out on its own, or have you tried anything?”

“I’ve tried things, but I probably don’t give them enough time to work before I give up on them. I need to do something, though. I know that I need sleep, but right now, I just need a minute to get away from the thoughts running through my head.”

I was quiet for a moment, contemplating.

“Yo,” I said finally, “I know this will probably sound all kinds of sketchy, but I might have a remedy for you to relax and shut your brain down long enough for you to get some sleep.”

“Is this an invitation to have sex with you, Nico?” The words came out through her chuckles.

I chuckled too. “Nah. This is about you presenting me with an issue and me possibly having the means to fix said issue. I own a body shop, lil bit. I’m a natural-born fixer.”

“Oh, okay. Natural-born fixer…right.”

“You up for coming through?”

“So, this is something that has to be done at your place? You can’t come through here and do it?”

---