Page 15 of Ronan

Dean

“Danika,you do whatever you need for yourself. Don’t worry about me,” my mother says as I talk to her on the phone while I sit watching Dae-Dae play.

“Mom, are you sure you’re okay? You don’t sound so good. I’ll come back.”

“Baby, you’re always running to everyone else’s rescue. When will you put yourself first? There’s nothing you can do for me. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I want you to recharge and find some inspiration for the next masterpiece. As Dean Foxx’s biggest fan, I can wait?—”

Her words are cut off as she begins to cough. I knit my brows in concern. Maybe I can pay for a babysitter for Kaye. I’ll get her an assistant too.

“Danika Peoples, I can hear your thoughts. You bring your butt back here to the US before the year is up and I’m going to whoop your grown ass. You hear me?”

“Yes, Mom, I hear you.”

She sighs. “Good. Maybe you’ll meet a nice guy while you’re there. I’m still waiting to see you get married.”

“At thirty-one, I think you can give up on that one,” I scoff.

“I hope not. If there’s one thing I want before I’m gone it’s to see you loved and cared for. I want to look my son-in-law in the eyes and see that he’s the one for my special girl.”

I blink back tears. I might write about romance, but finding it for myself has been a challenge. I either intimidate guys, pick assholes who are faking it, or start to build a connection only to back out before they can.

It’s hard to have relationships and secrets. One always compromises the other. My secrets can’t afford to be compromised.

The few times I’ve given it my all, life snatched it all back from me. I knew love once. I thought it would be forever and then one day it was like I was five all over again.

The man I looked to for love and protection was gone and there was nothing I could do. Security and love are something I’ve learned to give myself. I haven’t counted on anyone doing it for me in a very long time.

I don’t know that I want a husband. Mom and Uncle Freddie have tried to convince me otherwise, but I know myself. I know my life.

“Mom, I have to go,” I murmur as my emotions and thoughts begin to come to the surface.

“I love you, Danny.”

“Love you too, Mom. If anything changes, let me know.”

“You enjoy yourself. Don’t worry about me.”

I end the call with my mom and focus on Dae-Dae as he rides around the open space. To be innocent and carefree like him all over again. That hasn’t been my life in so long.

My thoughts go back to Geno. He was the love of my life. We met when I was in college.

He was fine as hell. Six-three, well built and handsome as fuck. His chocolate ass belonged on the cover of a magazine. I used to love watching him lick those thick, full lips.

Geno was a brother with it all. Brains, swag, confidence, and he knew how to take care of his woman, in and out of bed. I don’t think I’ve been touched the way he touched me since.

I was devastated when I got the call from his sister that he had been killed in a car accident. We had so many hopes and dreams. So many plans.

That bitch and her friends were three times over the legal blood alcohol level. She had no remorse whatsoever. Her concern was whether or not she would still get to attend her wedding that weekend.

Fuck the fact that she stole my wedding from me. Geno was going to propose. He had the ring at his place.

His sister told me all about his plans. Losing Geno changed me; it changed my life. From that day forward, everything I wanted from life shifted.

That’s when I walked through the door of no return. I became someone else. My innocence was gone, my heart had been broken, my mind shattered.

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