Page 6 of Ronan

I was given nothing and had the same opportunities she had. Uncle Freddie had tried with her, but after one summer, when Anika was like eight, he stopped bringing her along for our time together. I never figured out why he didn’t want her around.

“He must have seen you as the snake you are,” I snort.

However, I used to allow myself to think I had an advantage because Uncle Freddie and I were so close, because he did teach me things she didn’t know about. My sister played on that guilt and used it repeatedly. That girl played me like a fiddle.

She stole half a million dollars right from under my nose. However, I don’t know if I’m more hurt by her or Lauren. The last straw today that has me on this floor in the middle of this mess, feeling crazy.

I look at my smashed laptop and can’t find it in me to panic about the books I have on there. I don’t know if I ever want to write another word again. I’m hurt by my sister and can’t believe what she’s done, but it’s just money. I can make it again.

My writing is different. Those words were mine. They came from my heart. They were my creations. I put my heart and soul into my books.

I should have known better. Life … no, not just life. The publishing industry taught me better. Lauren did what they always do.

Just when I didn’t think this day could get any worse, it keeps shitting on me. This hurts so much, I can’t breathe. Anika was one thing … but Lauren. Nah, I should have caught that one.

“Fucking bitch,” I snarl.

The publishing business has put me through some shit, but this … this is the foulest shit that has ever happened to me. I don’t know if I’ll ever write another book or sign another contract.

This is some devious shit. I cover my face and sob into my hands. I’m getting too old for this.

I’m not this person. Maybe that’s the real problem. I’ve been trying so hard to fit into a world I don’t belong in.

This isn’t who I was meant to be. You can’t have it all, Baby Girl.

My phone rings somewhere around me. I think to ignore it. I can’t take any more bad news today and I don’t have it in me to step up if I’m needed. It’s already pouring down on my head.

There is a hole in my heart and the ragged edges feel like they’re blowing in the wind, exposing the gaping hole to all sorts of shit. I run my arm under my nose and reach for my phone as my eyes land on it.

Seeing it’s Lakia, I decide to answer. She and Kaye have become friends, like two little sisters. So far, they have proven to be real. Friends like them are hard to come by in this industry.

Um, fuck that. In this life period.

I would know, I’ve been through some of it all. I try not to project my jaded feelings on the two of them. Kaye is doing big things and I’m so proud of her.

Taking a deep breath, I pick up the call. “Hello.”

“Hey, Dean, what’s up? Are you okay?”

“No.”

“What’s the matter?”

“I need to get out of here before I kill someone.”

“O … kay.”

I think about what I want to share. I’ve never told Kaye or Lakia that I don’t need to write; I just love to. I stopped telling people about my wealth and true identity a long time ago.

Smiling faces and kind words don’t always mean people are in your corner. In fact, it be your own people who turn your shit upside down. With a smile on their face while they’re at it.

If everyone knew who the fuck I am, none of this would be happening, I think to myself. But Anika does know, that’s why I am having a hard time believing she would do this to me.

To avoid that awkward conversation, I decide not to tell her about Anika’s trifling ass. I go with explaining the Lauren situation instead.

“You remember my editor wanted me to work with that other author, Lauren?”

“Yeah, the white girl. They wanted you two to write something together that would reach a diverse audience or something like that, right?”

---