Page 20 of Soulless Angel

Jumping to my feet, I leapt over my laptop and darted for the door. I rushed into the bathroom and closed the door, flicking on the fan to help muffle the sounds as I vomited. What the hell was wrong with some people? Why would they enjoy that? There was a special place in hell for monsters like that. I had to help them get there.

After emptying my stomach, I splashed some cool water on my face. When I was sure that I wouldn’t be sick again, I brushed my teeth, needing to freshen my mouth. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, expecting to see the changes on my insides reflected on the outside.

I sucked in a deep breath before leaving the bathroom. When I returned to Cash’s bedroom, I found him sitting up in bed. My laptop was on the bed with him. I froze in the doorway.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Why the hell are you looking at this shit?” He answered my question with a question of his own. “This is some seriously fucked up material, Clover.”

I took a few steps toward the bed. “I know. I didn’t mean to see all that. I couldn’t sleep, and I was curious. Part of me wanted to know how bad it got. I’m kind of regretting that now.”

Cash clicked out of the browser and closed my laptop. “This isn’t good for you, Sunshine. It’s messed up. You’ve seen enough bad shit without seeking it out. Come here.”

He patted the bed beside him. I moved slowly, embarrassed at being caught looking at such sick stuff. I crawled onto the bed, sitting stiffly.

Cash put my laptop on his side table before taking my hand and pulling me closer. He brushed my disheveled hair back from my face. “You don’t have to go back in there. If this is too much for you, we’ll find a way to handle it without you.”

His piercing blue eyes were lit up by the sliver of light coming through the window. The sympathy and concern within them touched me. I threw my arms around him, hugging him tight.

“You’re so sweet, Cash. You have a big heart. That means so much to me, but we both know that I can’t get out of this now. I’m in this up to my eyeballs. I have to do it.”

He pulled back to look into my eyes. “You really don’t. The last thing any of us want is for you to push yourself too far. You’ve already dealt with so much. We’ll understand if this is crossing the line for you. Your mental health matters. We love you.Ilove you.”

My breath caught. Warmth spread through my chest. I leaned in to kiss him, glad that I’d just brushed my teeth.

“I love you too, Cash. More than I think I even realize. I know you want to take care of me. You have no idea how much I appreciate that.” I hugged him close, savoring the way his large, warm body felt against me.

“We want to keep you safe. Nothing matters more than that.” He paused before adding, “Blaze is worried about you. I am too.”

“I know. I’ll be fine though. Really. I promise.” I crawled into Cash’s lap, loving the way his arms automatically went around me. “I want to help stop what’s happening at Paradise. I know we can’t save everyone, but we know it’s happening, and I couldn’t live with myself if I walked away now.”

Cash nodded. “I get that. Only if you’re sure though. We can always find another way.”

He pulled me down with him, spooning in against me. For a long time Cash stroked a hand through my hair, soothing me with his gentle touch until I finally fell asleep.

My dreams were a mess of tormenting images. When morning rolled around and I woke up, I felt like I’d barely slept.A renewed determination had filled me. I would not be deterred. We were bringing down the people running the back rooms at Paradise, even if it cost me my sanity.

CHAPTER TWELVE

CLOVER

I was so ready for the weekend. We’d decided to take a break from Paradise. There was a big frat party going on that the guys wanted to attend. Since Raina and the girls were going too, I was all for it.

With music blasting from my phone speaker, I took my time in the bathroom getting ready. I’d been too tired to put much effort into my appearance lately. Time for that to change.

I carefully drew on edgy winged liner, adding rainbow eyeshadow colors for that bright effect I loved. My favorite bright pink lipstick completed my look. Leaving my hair down in gentle waves that brushed my shoulders, I chose a bright teal skater dress with rainbow leg warmers over pink running shoes.

A sigh of relief left me as I took in my appearance. It felt so good to look and feel like me again. When I ventured downstairs to find the guys doing some pregame shots in the kitchen, they all shut right up as I entered.

Blaze waved a finger, motioning for me to spin around. I happily obliged. Their undivided attention felt nice. I ate it right up.

“Looking good tonight, Rainbow,” Blaze said. “You always look phenomenal, but I love it when you’re a walking rainbow. It’s so perfectly you.”

Daire eyed my dress, his lip quirking up on one side. “That skirt is pretty short. I don’t want anyone checking out that gorgeous ass of yours.”

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t start that again, Daire. I’m not changing the dress. You know my ass belongs to you guys. What’s the big deal?”

He tossed back a shot of rum and shrugged. “Have it your way. If I see anyone checking you out, I’ll have to dig their eyes out. Is that what you want?”

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