Page 43 of Soulless Angel

“I don’t want to do this right now.” Placing my face in my hands, I took a deep breath. “I have to get ready for class.”

After a few more deep breaths, I pushed off the couch, pausing to make sure the room stayed steady. I’d made the choice to go in there. The guys asked me repeatedly if I could handle it. Maybe this was on me. Maybe I’d fucked up.

“Go to class?” Daire repeated. “You’ve got to be kidding. Go to bed. Get some proper sleep. Do you need anything? I can bring you anything you want.”

“All I want right now, Daire, is for you to stay away from me.” My words were bitter, harsh enough to make him flinch.

Shoving past him, I left the room without a glance back. Daire couldn’t stand it. He came after me, grabbing my arm before I reached the staircase.

“Are you kidding me? I kept you safe. I didn’t have another way. You’re punishing me for making a hard decision in the heat of the moment?” He whirled me around to face him. A tornado of emotion spiraled in his eyes.

“Let go of me,” I hissed, trying to jerk my arm away.

He held tight, refusing to release me. “Not until you calm down and realize that I would never hurt you like that. It was the only way to keep you safe.”

Maybe he was right. I didn’t want to hear it right then. All I wanted was to be away from him. To be alone and gather my thoughts.

“Let me go.” My voice rose to a near shout.

That kind of thing didn’t work with Daire. He would not be moved. “No. I’m not the bad guy here. Not this time.”

Blaze appeared at the top of the steps. His hair was rumpled from sleep, crease marks on the side of his face from his pillow.

“What’s going on?” he asked, starting down the stairs.

“Clover is losing her mind,” Daire said, suddenly letting me go. He threw both hands up, his face a mask of utter disgust. “She blames me for what happened at Paradise. Funny how quickly she forgot the two of you were also involved.”

“I didn’t forget anything,” I shouted. “I remember it all quite well. You made the call, and they both fell in line, just like they always do.”

Clutching the stair railing, I used it to steady myself as I pulled myself up the steps. I squeezed past Blaze and left them both behind. Not knowing what to do with myself, I flung myself into the bathroom and locked the door. Then I slumped to the floor, breathing hard.

Their voices carried through the door. Cash must have emerged from his bedroom because I heard him too.

“Give her some space,” Blaze advised. “She needs some time to process.”

“Maybe you should leave for a while,” Cash suggested. “Go to class early or hang in the basement for a while. Shit, Daire, have you even slept?”

Daire’s reply hit me in the chest. “Of course not. Someone had to stay up and make sure Clover was okay. I wasn’t going to leave her there alone.”

Tears welled up in my eyes. He’d been up all night so he could watch over me. The Daire I’d first met wouldn’t have done that. The tears spilled from my eyes, racing down my cheeks in hot twin paths.

The trauma I’d endured at Brady’s hands still haunted me. I’d tried to bury it, but last night had made it burst free, reminding me that such things would never stay buried for long. I didn’t want it to drive a wedge between Daire and me, or the others for that matter. He already blamed himself for what happened, even though I’d been the one to make the mistake that gave Brady the opportunity to grab me. Blaming each other and ourselves was futile. It would get us nowhere.

At Cash’s urging, Daire opted to leave the house completely. I heard the front door close behind him, and a fresh wave of tears rolled down my face. With my back pressed to the bathroom door, I let myself cry it out, desperate for the release. Yet not everything would be purged.

A soft knock at the door was followed by Blaze’s voice. “Clover? Are you okay? Can I come in?”

I was torn between opening the door and telling him to go away. Sucking in a shaky breath, I stood up and unlocked the door.

Blaze stood there, his bruised face crumpled in distress. “Can we talk?”

I stepped back to let him enter. Taking a seat on the edge of the tub, I waited for him to start.

He sat next to me, keeping some space between us. “Don’t be mad at Daire. You’re entitled to your feelings, of course, but you know he would do anything to keep you safe. Right?”

The stubborn, hurt part of me wanted to viciously deny that. Except that I couldn’t. Daire had proven repeatedly that he would do anything for me. Even kill.

“Yeah, I know.” My shoulders slumped. “I’m not sure what happened to me in there. I really thought I could handle it. Guess I was wrong. You guys came at me with that needle and I flashed back to Brady. That’s not Daire’s fault.”

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