Page 91 of Rescued Heart

No wonder Eddie didn’t want to have anything fake. He’d already lived through too much pretending from his own mother.

Bianca slipped her hand off Eddie’s thigh, but his calloused palm caught hers, and their fingers seemed to intertwine on their own. “I never should have brought you into that mess. But…thanks.”

“Anytime.” And she meant it. “I’m not pretending to care. I don’t want you to ever have to wonder anymore if you’re not worth being there for. You don’t need her approval. You only need God’s.”

The exact thing Frances had reminded Bianca of countless times. The very thing Bianca still wrestled with.

Eddie returned his grip to the steering wheel. Over the radio, a song about a broken heart echoed inside the cab until Eddie changed the station.

How many times had she wished someone would have been beside her when the world felt like it was collapsing? God had sent her Frances. She wanted to be that person for Eddie.

But would he let her?

She glanced up at the sky through the windshield, and a shooting star burst through the darkness. Just like on the night she’d had her first audition. “I know parenting must be hard, but…”

Eddie released a heavy breath. “Does tonight make you not want to have kids?”

Nathan had said he never wanted any kids, and she’d been too focused on her career. “With the right man, I want to have a family. But I hope my kids get to skip some of the emotions I had growing up.”

Eddie pushed the turn signal, and the clicking noise harmonized with the squeal of the brakes. After he finished the turn, Eddie whispered, “I want my kids to know that they are loved and not a burden. Never a means to an end.”

This man’s heart had taken such a beating. How had he become so kind?

Only because of God. “You’re not a burden, Eddie.” He’d told her that very thing not too many days ago.

She pressed her lips together to keep her tongue from speaking anything about the L-word. Because Eddie would be all too easy to love, but this was supposed to be a business deal. No feelings. No crossing lines. That’s what Frances had said about not mixing a relationship with her business partnership with Ace.

But Eddie would be worth the cost.

Bianca curled a few strands of her hair around her finger. “I never want my kids to feel like they’re an embarrassment. But I guess that’s what propelled me into acting. So I should be thankful.”

Eddie turned toward her. Concern and something else she couldn’t see in the shadows crossed his eyes before he faced the road. “Why would someone be embarrassed by you?”

Bianca scooted closer to the passenger-side door. “You don’t need to hear about my woe-is-me moments. What you’ve had to endure tonight alone is much worse.”

“Bianca.” He switched off the radio. “Sadness isn’t a competition. If you feel comfortable telling me, I could use a distraction.”

He only needed a distraction. She was starting to wish she could be more than that. “I remember my parents getting frustrated that I’d only play by myself at the park, or that I wouldn’t speak to their friends. I overheard them say how embarrassed they were that I was nothing like anyone else in my family. One day, my extroverted sister had a friend coming over. My mom made a big deal about getting a tea party ready for them, so I lied that I had two friends coming over as well. I went in my room and held pretend conversations at different pitches and created stories. I thought I’d locked my door, but my mom later came with some cookies and tea for my friends and me. She looked around and must have realized I had been doing the voices. She said that I sounded really creative, just like her, and never once mentioned my lie.”

Bianca pressed her palm over her chest. “I loved that she’d said I was like her. So I started practicing mimicking the kids on commercials and television shows. One day, my mom asked me to do one of my voices for her friends. I felt far more comfortable pretending to be someone other than my shy self, so I did, and everyone loved it. That summer, I started dressing up in different outfits and clothes to help mefeelthe different voices that everyone loved. I begged my mom to drive me four hours to my first audition, but I froze onstage. The only thing she said to me on the entire ride home was how I probably didn’t need to try any more acting because I wasn’t like those other kids auditioning. That night I wished on a falling star. Wished that I could change—be better, more outgoing, and become an actress.”

Eddie moved his hand to the seat between them. His pinky reached out and touched Bianca’s. “Sorry you felt you had to change to please your mom.”

She’d been changing to please people ever since—and not even for the right One, the Lord. Until recently. “My dad was not happy with my career choice, but once I made my first movie deal, my entire family seemed excited. Then my dad promised the college he had worked for that I’d do a meet and greet around Thanksgiving. Except I’d never told him I would actually make it home for the holiday. I didn’t have phone service where we had been filming. Apparently, he’d organized this huge event, but when filming got delayed, I couldn’t make it. I not only embarrassed him, but he got fired too. My sister Madeline was the one who told me. She said that she heard Dad tell Mom that he hoped I’d just miss Christmas that year too.”

Eddie hooked his pinkie around Bianca’s. “Did you go home?”

Bianca shook her head. “I’d gotten a commercial deal that required me to travel over the holidays. I thought I’d figured out how to fix the problem, so I sent money to the college. They hired Dad back, except he refused their offer. He took a job with this family-owned building company who prioritized high family morals as part of their advertisement. Which was about the time the tabloids started feeding rumors about how I’d supposedly slept my way to my next not-very-family-friendly starring role, which wasn’t true. But my dad was passed for a promotion because of it. Each time I messed up in real life—or “real” based on the paparazzi and tabloids—my family paid the cost. I promised my parents I’d help with their house payments. They’ve gotten behind recently. However, when Nathan was arrested, my accounts were frozen. I told my parents that I didn’t have the money yet, but they said don’t bother. That they couldn’t trust my apologies or my word, and that I’d only embarrass them more with my lies.”

But she was still determined to prove to them that she’d changed and would keep her word. To them and now also to Eddie.

Eddie turned onto the film set road and waved at Thad in the security box, who lifted the gate. “Your parents should have handled things differently.”

Just like his mother should have too.

Bianca dipped her chin. “They were already upset that I hadn’t married Nathan yet and was only living with him. They were right. I shouldn’t have been living like I was. Shouldn’t have done some of the movies I had. But after I did change and follow the Lord…I think they wanted more proof than my word.”

Eddie pulled into a parking spot instead of next to the sidewalk and turned off the truck.

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