Page 57 of Rescuing Nathaniel

“Okay, something is clearly wrong,” Ava announced, setting her fork down and shooting him a penetrating stare like she was trying to search inside his brain and figure out what was going on with him.

Good luck.

He lived inside his brain, and he couldn’t quite figure out why he was having such a hard time dealing with the fact that Ava came from wealth and he came from nothing.

All Nathaniel knew was that it poked at every single one of the insecurities he’d carried with him from childhood.

“Nothing is wrong,” he said, aiming for nonchalance but pretty sure he failed dramatically.

“Then why have you barely spoken two words since we got here?” Ava pressed on. It was clear that was something else they didn't have in common. He was accustomed to bottling up his pain, his anger, his sadness, his fear, his everything, and she seemed to be one of those people who wanted to talk everything through, dissect it, and deal with it.

Not that he was saying her way wasn't the emotionally healthier one, he just didn't know how to do it.

“Do you not want to be here? Is that the problem? Do you regret offering to play babysitter? Do you want to go home to your team? If you do, I’ll understand.” The vulnerability in her voice hit him like a physical blow.

It wasn't that at all.

As much as he felt insecure and out of his depth with Ava, hewantedto be there. He just wished that she came from a less affluent family. Wasn't that he wanted her to have grown up struggling like he had, but why couldn’t her family just be a typical middle-class one? That he could have handled.

“Watching over you is where I want to be,” he told her completely honestly. It was just her beautiful home that was freaking him out. Not her and not being her bodyguard. “One hundred percent.”

Those big blue eyes of hers searched his, trying to ascertain if he was telling her the truth. Trying to find his weaknesses, not so she could exploit them, but so she could heal them. Somehow, he knew that without having to ask.

So why couldn’t he let her try?

If he opened up to her, told her all the jumbled fears and emotions clogged inside his brain, could she help him untangle them? Work through them even?

Or would he just be driving the final nail inside his coffin and showing her that she was way out of his league?

Fear had him keeping his mouth shut even though something inside him ordered him to purge. Somehow, he managed to fight against the urge, and instead, let her see what he wanted her to see.

With a sigh, Ava pushed back from the table. She hadn't eaten nearly enough, just half of the small plate she’d fixed for herself, the rest she’d just been pushing around.

“I think I’m going to take a long, hot bubble bath and then take a nap. I know it’s only midday, but?—”

“You haven’t slept in over a day,” he said for her so there would be no making excuses. “But you didn't eat enough.”

“Not really hungry.” She shrugged, and he knew he wasn't the only one keeping secrets. Ava was more affected by the deaths of the other people on the ship than she wanted them to know, and he didn't know how to convince her that her escaping hadn't changed their fate, merely sped it up a little.

“Anything special that might make you hungry that I can cook for dinner?” While he wasn't chef caliber like the gadgets in the kitchen implied Teresa was, he could cook fairly decently. And it would give him something to do so he stopped dwelling on the fact that he didn't deserve a woman like Ava Hendricks.

A soft smile curled her lips up, a smile that actually made it all the way up to her eyes. “You’re going to cook for me?”

“If it will get you eating a decent meal, I’d do pretty much anything.”

Her smile grew. “Well, my absolute favorite dinner in the whole world is nothing fancy.”

The urge to refute that and say a woman who had grown up the way Ava had couldn’t be anything but fancy was strong, but somehow, he managed to bite his tongue and remain silent.

“It’s just mashed potato and sausages. I’m sure there’d be some in the freezer, and potatoes in the bottom of the pantry. Knock yourself out, and make yourself at home. I’m sorry we only have the three bedrooms, so you’ll have to sleep on the couch while you’re here, but there are spare sheets, blankets, and pillows in the linen closet.”

Rounding the table, she stood beside his chair for a long moment, their gazes clashing, their emotions bubbling to the surface. He was so close to spilling every one of his secrets but then she leaned down and touched a kiss to his cheek.

“I’m glad you're here, Nathaniel.”

With that, she turned and headed out of the kitchen, leaving him staring after her more sure than ever that he could never ever in a million lifetimes deserve someone that perfect.

CHAPTER15

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