Page 55 of Rescuing Nathaniel

“Not because of you.”

The assurance did nothing to soothe the guilt she felt. Of course, it was because of her. If he hadn't found her in the life raft he would have followed the initial plan for his op and would be with his team right now.

That wasn't the only thing that was her fault.

Her escape had also gotten everyone else on that boat killed.

Logically, she could understand how she wasn't to blame. Those people’s fate had been sealed the moment they’d been kidnapped, they would have died either way, but it was her escaping that had led to the people in charge having everyone on board slaughtered.

“Listen to me.” Large hands covered her shoulders, kneading gently. “None of this is your fault. My comms unit somehow malfunctioned. I don’t know why, but some tech genius like you will figure it out. I did not disobey a direct order. Did I know my CO wanted me to head straight to the exfil point? Yes. But did he explicitly tell me that? No. I haven’t lost my job, my commander is just annoyed with me. I did the right thing. Not only did you have intel you could give us, but you're a human being who deserved to live. Even if it cost me my job, I would make the same choice every single time. Okay?”

When he looked at her like that, so intense, so all-consuming, there was nothing else she could do but nod her acquiescence.

While it wasn't like she could magically turn off her feelings of guilt for what happened to the other victims of the traffickers, or the damage caused to Nathaniel’s career, she could make herself focus more on facts and less on feelings.

“Need to hear you say it out loud, Aves.” Nathaniel’s thumb shifted to brush ever so softly across the bandage on her neck.

It affected him.

Deeply.

She could see that.

Many times over the last few hours she’d seen him staring at it. What thoughts were running through his mind when he looked at it? Was he relieved she’d pushed him out of the way? Was it a dent to his macho alpha pride?

No.

She was certain it wasn't. Nathaniel wasn't like that. Yeah, he was all alpha and protective, but not in an arrogant, conceited kind of way. He was okay with her stepping in to protect him, but there was more to it than that. Ava just wished she knew what.

“I’ll do my best to remember that I'm not responsible for your commander being a jerk,” she said, managing a small smile for Nathaniel even though she felt like the weight of the world was currently resting on her shoulders.

Her joke made him laugh and the sound eased some of that weight. At least she wasn't carrying it alone, Nathaniel was there, and somehow, that made everything a little bit better.

“Come on, Aves, let’s get you inside. Get you fed and watered, and then all tucked in.”

“I’m not a dog, you know,” she grumbled as he grasped her elbow, took the keys from her hand, and unlocked her door, guiding her inside.

Another piece of her burden floated away as she stepped inside her home. While work was her happy place, this was her comfort place. Teresa was the most practical and laid back of the three of them, and she’d been okay with her and Chelsea doing pretty much whatever they wanted with the place.

While she and Chelsea had different tastes, they’d agreed on enough things that the large, cozy living room was a nice blend of both their styles, as was the kitchen dining room. The three of them shared the bathroom, but since it didn't really need to be decorated, that was easy enough, all they had to do was split the storage spaces so they could all keep their toiletries in there.

The walls were painted a light gold color, not the tacky kind of gold, more like someone had bottled sunlight and splashed it on the walls, then turned down the volume a little so the tone wasn’t overwhelming indoors. The carpet was thick and white, it was the softest thing she’d ever walked on, and Ava usually walked around at home barefoot just so her toes could sink into the luxurious material.

Just because she didn't possess a single creative bone in her body didn't mean that Ava didn't love art. She’d been fascinated by it even as a child, and some of her only truly happy childhood memories were of the vacations she’d taken with her parents to visit the best galleries in the world. Her favorite was the Louvre, they’d spent hours there, and in their two-week vacation in Paris, she’d asked to go back again and again, finally racking up five visits.

Because of her love of art over the years, she’d amassed quite a collection. One she was proud of. It meant going without a lot to scrimp and scrounge every cent she could to purchase a piece, but she looked at them as an investment as well as something she could enjoy every day.

The layout of the room was simple. Chelsea had picked out one of those electric fireplace entertainment cabinets that the TV sat on, with three three-seater couches in a buttery soft beige leather grouped around it, and that was it. A few decorative pillows were thrown on the couches, Chelsea’s touches, and two gorgeous statues flanking the TV screen, her addition. They were a modern twist on Aztec sculptures and cost her a small fortune, but she loved them.

“Well, welcome to our home,” she said, sweeping her arm around to indicate the room. “Kitchen and dining room is through that door.” She pointed to the door on their right. “And that door leads to our bedrooms and the bathroom.”

Nathaniel nodded, but there was an odd look on his face.

Assuming he was just tired, Ava didn't think much of it, and just led him through to the kitchen, since he was right and she did need to eat. He followed her and she opened the door and walked into their large, airy kitchen. They’d continued the gold theme into the kitchen with the walls, and the granite countertops were a mixture of browns and golds, the backsplash as well.

The counters were lined with just about every kitchen gadget you could think of. Espresso machine, bread maker, mixer, air fryer, fancy vegetable cutter, ice cream maker, slow cooker, pasta maker, and a whole bunch of others. Half the time you couldn’t even find enough counter space to actually work.

“Sorry about the mess. Teresa didn't care what we did with the rest of the place so we can't really complain about all her gadgets. She loves cooking and baking. More like obsessed with it,” Ava said with a chuckle as she headed for the fridge.

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