Page 38 of Rescuing Nathaniel

It had always worked until he found an unconscious woman at the bottom of a life raft.

Their relationship had started out as far away from romantic as it was possible to get, yet it would be a lie to claim that she hadn't wriggled her way under his skin, and he liked it.

Actually liked it.

His being there was a big mistake. It would only reinforce the obsession that was growing inside him. Obsession was a dangerous thing. He’d seen the damage it could cause. Seen an obsession with alcohol destroy his father. Seen an obsession with a man destroy his mother. Seen an obsession with drugs destroy some of his siblings.

Yet nothing could stop him from walking inside this hospital.

How could he not go there to see the woman who had quite literally saved his life? No one had ever put themselves between him and danger before. However, Ava hadn't hesitated to push him out of the way when she saw an approaching threat, and she’d taken a bullet for her trouble.

A bullet that could have killed her.

It was a miracle it had only scraped along the side of her neck, dangerously close to her carotid artery but thankfully missing it completely.

Seeing blood dribbling down her neck, knowing she was already injured and weak, had almost stopped his heart. Never in his life had he felt terror like that. The journey from the ground up into the helo had felt like an eternity. They’d then changed to a plane to fly from California to New York, and when they’d landed in the private airfield, and he had to leave Ava, it had felt like he was literally sending a piece of himself away.

He had to get these feelings under control.

Even if he wanted to break his vow to himself and ask Ava out, there was no way she was going to say yes.

Since he had Ava’s room number, he headed for the elevator to take him to her floor. It had only been a matter of hours since they’d parted ways, and he’d spent most of that time being yelled at by his commander.

They both knew he was walking a fine line. There was no proof he had messed with his comms unit in any way, which he hadn't, and he hadn't been given a direct order to leave behind the person he’d found in the life raft. So technically, he hadn't done anything wrong, and they all knew it, but still, his commander had placed him on temporary leave pending an investigation into the malfunctioning communication device.

Nathaniel should have been more upset about that, he loved his job, it was his life, his team was his family, but all he felt was relief that his job wasn't going to stop him from going to Ava. There were no orders to follow, nowhere to be, so he was free to do whatever he wanted.

And for a reason he couldn’t quite fathom this was what he wanted to do.

Still anxiety hit as he reached Ava’s floor, and his steps slowed.

He wanted to see her, but the real question was, did she want to see him?

As soon as his debriefing with his commander was over, the first thing he’d done was ask for an update on Ava. He knew it had been one of her kidneys that had been removed by the organ traffickers, which was what both of them had assumed. Living with only one kidney shouldn’t impact her life in any meaningful way so at least she had that going for her. The wound to her neck had required four stitches to close, and there would be a scar, one that would be more visible than the one left behind on her abdomen.

But she was doing as well as could be expected. The wound on her stomach had been irrigated and restitched, she was getting antibiotics, fluids, pain management, and lots of rest.

She was fine and he had no doubt her family was by her side.

So why was he there?

Why did it feel so imperative that he go to see her?

And why did it matter so damn much whether she wanted to see him?

He was the one who had made things awkward after she’d been rambling about unwrapping herself. He could have just whispered in her ear that he thought she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen in his life but that he was scared to ask her out, to let her in. But that would have meant allowing himself to be vulnerable in front of another person for the first time since he was a kid stuck in an abusive home, and Nathaniel wasn't sure he was ready for that.

Wasn't sure he would ever be ready.

If he was never going to be able to let himself be vulnerable with a partner, what would be the point in even having one?

That was the whole point of a relationship, you worked together as a team, using your strengths to help your partner’s weaknesses, uplifting one another, and supporting one another.

The thing was, though, he’d already used the only strengths he had to offer anyone. He’d managed to keep her alive in Mexico, get her away from the men hunting her, and with the help of Rocco’s team, get her back home safely.

What else did he have to offer?

It wasn’t like she was going to find herself kidnapped again and be in need of someone to come rushing to her rescue.

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