Page 33 of Rescuing Nathaniel

Deep down she had to know it too. It was why she had—rightly—put a little distance between them these last few hours. Now that it wasn't just the two of them, he didn't need to hover right by her side or carry her over his shoulder. Six other guys could step in if needed.

Which they were doing, even if they all rolled their eyes at him each time one of them stepped in when Ava needed assistance. Every time, they paused first to see if he was going to do it, and then only when he didn't would they offer their assistance.

They were doing everything right and yet the stab of jealousy he felt each time one of them spoke to Ava, looked at her, or touched her should tell him enough about how he felt deep down inside in a place he’d believed he had already locked up tight. Didn't seem to matter to the caveman side of him that Rocco and his team were all happily married to the women they loved, some of them even with kids.

All he knew was that he wanted to be the one talking to and touching Ava. A thought that terrified him like nothing else ever could. Allowing himself to fall for her was setting himself up for the pain and rejection that would no doubt come when she woke up to the truth that she was better than him.

Sighing, annoyed with himself that he was even getting this distracted in the middle of a mission where he had an innocent civilian who was depending on him to get her home alive, Nathaniel refocused his attention on their surroundings.

They were closing in on the exfil position, and soon a helo would arrive to pick them up. His time with Ava was drawing to a close and he honestly didn't want it to end with neither of them speaking to the other and awkwardness hanging heavily in the air.

And just like that, his thoughts were right back to the pretty blonde currently cradled in Ace’s arms, laughing at something he was saying to her. Why did Ace have to be so good at putting people at ease? He’d married Piper in Timor-Leste right after meeting her when the orphanage she worked at had been attacked so they could bring home three little girls who had also survived. There was no way he could have charmed Ava into marrying him in such a short time, not even with the lives of three kids on the line.

He just didn't have it in him.

What he had in him were his father’s genes. A violent alcoholic who didn't care who he used as a punching bag. Was that really something he wanted to risk passing along to somebody else?

For a second, Ava’s face superimposed itself over his mother’s, his own face over his father’s, and he saw the pure, unadulterated terror on it as his fist came swinging right toward it, connecting with her nose in a sickening crunch that left blood pouring down her face.

No.

He couldn’t allow that to happen.

Not to someone as sweet as Ava. It didn't matter that he had never raised a hand to anyone who wasn't a threat on an op, or a sparring partner, there was always the possibility that it could happen which is why he knew it was safer to keep himself locked down tight. No one got inside his heart that wasn't a member of his team. The brotherhood was more than enough to stave off loneliness and it gave him the connections he needed.

Catching himself again as he spiraled into an Ava-shaped hole of despair, he was giving himself an internal pep talk when he felt it.

Nothing discernible, just a slight shift in the air.

One thing being a SEAL had taught him was to trust his instincts. It was a skill he’d started developing as a child, learning to read his father’s moods and act accordingly, and it had been honed in his career.

If his gut said something was wrong, then something was wrong.

When he stopped the others did too.

“Than?” Rocco asked.

Shrugging because he wasn't sure what exactly it was that had gotten his hackles up, he scanned the area. Something felt off, which meant more than likely, someone was out there somewhere. Maybe watching them, maybe tracking them, or maybe unaware of their presence.

At least for now.

Since Ava was with them, he had to ensure that whoever was out there didn't get close to her.

“You feel it?” he asked the others.

“We’re being followed,” Gumby said.

“Four of them I think,” Phantom added.

“Nine o’clock,” Rex said, making Ava’s nose do its little confused scrunch.

“Nine o’clock what? It’s not nine, it has to be early afternoon,” she said.

“Their position,” Nathaniel told her.

“Oh. Right. I should have known that.” She sounded frustrated with herself even though she had zero reason to be. She was still functioning, and after what she’d been through, that in and of itself was miracle enough.

Just like that, he couldn’t take the distance between them any longer.

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