Page 10 of Vengeful Lies

10:26 P.M.

Never in his life had thirteen hours felt like a lifetime.

There had been times when Cade had thought he was going to die. Being a pararescueman was not a job for the faint-hearted, and his life had been on the line many more times than he’d admitted to his wife.

There had also been a time when he’d been forced to sit beside his ill wife’s bedside as he watched her fade away a little more each day.

In all those instances, it felt as though time was dragging, that seconds felt like hours, hours felt like days, and days felt like weeks.

But it had never felt like this.

Putting his life on the line had been his choice. Knowing the dangers his job would entail he’d taken them on because he believed what he was doing was important. Same thing when he’d gone to work for Prey. What he did saved lives, and it was worth the risk.

As hard as watching Gretel waste away from cancer had been, they had decided together when they found out she had cancer just three weeks after learning she was pregnant, that she would put off treatment and try to carry their baby to term. It wasn't a decision he would force on other people, but it had been right for them. Even though they had known that with an aggressive form of cancer, it was unlikely Gretel would survive, he would never regret having his daughter, even as he missed his wife with a pain that had dulled over the years but would never leave him.

Now, with his precious little girl in the hands of men who wouldn't hesitate to hurt her even though she was only four years old and was completely innocent, every second felt like an eternity.

One eternity on top of another until it felt like he was losing his mind.

Cade sat in his empty house, alone, staring into space, with barely enough energy to breathe let alone do anything. While his family had been worried about him and hadn't wanted to leave him alone, he’d insisted that he needed some time to himself to try to decompress, get his head on straight, and figure out how to get his daughter back alive.

In the thirteen hours since the abduction, he and his brothers had talked to every witness who had been there at the time. They’d gone through every piece of security footage they could recover. No matter how horrific it had been watching his tiny daughter being kidnapped and stuffed into the back of an SUV, he’d watched it over and over again, trying to see something that would tell him the identities of the men who had taken Essie from him.

They had a detailed picture of what had happened, but in the end, they didn't know anything that mattered.

There were no names and no location.

This meant his daughter was lost out there, scared, and he wasn't there to comfort her, to make everything better.

That was his job, and he was failing at it.

Already he’d failed his wife and hadn't been able to save her even though his logical mind knew her cancer was just too aggressive and that even if she hadn't carried her pregnancy to term, it was unlikely she would have survived. Now he was failing their daughter. His final words to Gretel had been telling her how much he loved her and promising to raise a daughter she would be proud of.

Anger, grief, and fear warred inside him.

The grief was the worst because he felt like it was a betrayal of Essie. Thinking about her being gone when she was still alive, imagining how empty his life would be without her when there was still a chance he could get her back.

The fear was almost paralyzing. All he wanted to do was scream and rage at the universe for taking from him all he had left.

The anger wound up adding shame to the list. It wasn't Gabriella’s fault that Essie had been in the car. Just because she’d convinced him to let her take Essie to the pool didn't negate the fact that he’d agreed. Blaming her in any way was unfair especially given he’d seen how she’d tried to protect his child.

Feeling like he was moments away from spinning out of control, Cade threw the glass in his hand across the room, getting a tiny sliver of release when it exploded and shattered into hundreds of pieces, littering the floor of the room that was too full of Essie. While Gabriella always kept their home clean and tidy, there were signs of his almost kindergartener everywhere. Her toys were packed neatly away in her toy box and on the shelves that lined one living room wall. Her artwork covered the refrigerator, a pile of her clean laundry sat on thekitchen table, waiting to be taken upstairs and put away, a half-started craft project sat on the counter, ready to be finished after lunch.

It was too much.

He couldn’t be in this room a second longer.

Snatching up Essie’s favorite teddy bear, one he and Gretel had picked out when they found out she was expecting but before the diagnosis, he headed for the stairs. Despite being five years old, the toy was in good condition, its light brown fur still soft, its eyes and nose still intact, Essie loved Winkie-Bear and took such good care of it.

If it had been any other day other than swimming lesson day, the stuffed animal would have been with Essie. She rarely went anywhere without it, but Gabriella had convinced her that pool days were days Winkie-Bear would be happier at home.

Clutching the teddy in his hands, Cade fought against the idea that this might be all he would have left of his daughter. This teddy bear and a bunch of other toys and clothes that all smelled like his child and reminded him of her and the times they’d shared together, but were such a pale comparison to the real thing.

When he reached the second floor, heading for Essie’s bedroom, he found himself pausing in the open doorway to Gabriella’s room. Because he could be gone for days or weeks at a time it had made sense for the nanny to live with them to make it easier and less disruptive for Essie. This room was smaller than the master, but it had its own bathroom which meant Gabriella had her own space. Now as he stood in the doorway looking around it, he was overcome with the sweet honey scent that was so intrinsically Gabby.

Like how she kept the house, her room was neat and tidy, a huge four poster bed piled high with fluffy pillows and a lacy white bedspread that matched the curtains. There was anantique roll-top desk and a bookcase with a rocking chair beside it. Butter yellow was her favorite color, and accents of it around the room made it seem even more like her.

Sitting in the middle of the bed was an old ragdoll. She’d told him once that it was the only thing she still had left from her biological mom, and she’d taken that doll with her to every foster home she’d lived in, then to college, and then to the home she’d shared with her ex. Now, it sat alone on the bed, and he was struck for the first time by how truly lonely Gabriella’s childhood must have been.

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