Page 85 of Winning Brynn

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask as we walk side by side out of the locker room.

"Why are you being weird?" he fires back.

I pull off my hat, ruffle my hair, then put it back in place. "I'm not being weird. I'm fine. Totally fine."

He snorts, holding open the door for me. "You sound like Ross walking in on Rachel and Joey making out."

The crisp winter air has me sucking in lungfuls of breath as we leave the foggy stench of old socks and sweat behind in the stadium. Across the parking lot, Brynn waits with my daughter in her arms and her parents at her sides. They're all bundled in thick coats, but my guilt has my skin burning so hot that the freezing wind doesn't register at all.

"Just feeling the pressure of the season, y'know?" I lie, internally begging myself to get it together while simultaneously cursing my own name for being such a monumental piece of shit.

Regretfully, Alex buys the lie. And though it's a relief, it's also an extra dagger to my soul. The dude is my best friend, and he deserves more than my betraying, lying, traitorous ass.

"I get it." He grips my shoulder in reassurance. "We all do. But you kicked ass out there today, so let yourself celebrate, even if only for tonight. You can go back to sulking and worrying tomorrow, yeah?"

He smiles, and it's so warm and genuine that I die a thousand deaths inside.

"Yeah," I say quietly. "Thanks, man."

"You're my best friend. I've got your back, and you've got mine." He says it with an air of confidence and trust that I almost blurt out what I've been doing just to ease the guilt aching in my chest. He turns away then, greeting his family with wide open arms.

I linger behind him, sinking lower and lower into my pit of self-hatred. Even when Salem reaches her arms out for me, squealing her happiness and mouthing my cheek, I can only manage a half-smile. I can't meet Brynn's eye, can barely muster the mental capacity to hold a conversation with Jack about the soccer season, and when Libby shoots me a knowing look over Alex's shoulder, I practically hyperventilate.

Salem, sensing my discomfort in the strange telepathic way only babies are able to do, dissolves into a flood of tears, which gives me an easy excuse to say my goodbyes and duck out early.

"Well"—I slap my knee—"it was lovely to see you both." I smile politely as Libby pulls me into an embrace.

Stepping back, she takes my face in her hands. "You're a good man, Leo Sullivan."

Fuck this. My conscience can't take it anymore.

I shoot my gaze to Alex, who is thankfully distracted by his father. Nodding my thanks, I try to pull away, but she only holds me tighter.

"Don't worry too much about my son, dear. He's protective to a fault, but he loves you. He'll understand when you're ready to tell him."

My brows raise in disbelief before I'm able to stop them. With a warm smile, Libby watches her husband and son throwing soft punches at one another on the grass bank just a few steps away. "It's true. He loves fiercely and has a stubborn streak as long as the Mississippi River, but he'll come around eventually—so long as you make Brynn happy and treat her right."

I sigh, wiping a hand down the length of my face.

"You love her, don't you?" She finally releases me, tucking her gloved hands back into the pockets of her parka. "You might not realize it yet, but you do. I can see it."

My eyes instantly search out Brynn, who has thankfully broken away from the group to chat with the wife of one of my teammates. Relieved that she wasn't around to overhear her mother poking into my deepest secrets, I scramble for something to say. "I…" I trail off, words evading me.

She laughs easily, like this situation isn't as grave as I know it is, as if it doesn't have the capacity to blow up my friendship with Alex like a nuclear bomb. "It'll all work out in the end."

She leaves me with that, striding across to Jack and all but dragging him across the parking lot in search of their car. I watch her go, my mind an even greater mess than it was before that conversation, imagining how Alex will react to finding out about Brynn and me and wondering why everyone keeps insisting that I'm in love when I've never given any indication that I am.

If I was in love with her, I'd know.

Right?

Text thread between Leo and Brynn

Brynn:You okay, Daddio? You're looking a little blue over there.

Leo:I'm fine, baby.

Brynn:Did you just lie to me?

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