Page 81 of Winning Brynn

He sighs, shaking his head as he looks down at the sleeping baby in his arms. "You're too attached to that kid."

"She just reminds me of myself when I was her age."

I note how careful she's being with her words, how conscious she is not to say too much in front of Roman. What gets me is that I know she isn't doing it for her own benefit, but her brother's. After how open she was with me the day I found out about her history, and then her actually taking me with her to visit, there's no part of me that thinks she would care if more people knew.

But Alex would.

So, she remains tight-lipped. Even if talking about her experience would help her, she resists the temptation. For him.

"What about when she's adopted some day? Forever this time, by parents who won't just give her back when it's harder than they thought it would be," he says.

"Then I'll be happy for her."

"It would destroy you, and you know it." He sighs, wriggling a hand free from beneath Salem to scratch the back of his neck. "You need to pull back from her. It's not good for either of you."

An angry flush creeps across Brynn's face, her lips pulling tight, her forehead creased in a scowl. "Why are you being such a dick?"

"I'm not being a dick, Brynn Bear. I'm just worried about you."

"Well, don't be." She stands, scooping Gordon into her arms and turning toward the hallway. "If it were up to you, I'd never make a connection with anyone. Not a man, or a friend, or a child. It's getting old real fast, Alex."

His eyes soften, but he doesn't back down. "I just don't want you to get hurt. If that makes me a dick, then whatever, I guess I'm a dick."

She shakes her head, trying to calm herself down. All I want to do is go to her, pull her into my arms, and soothe her myself, especially because I suspect her reaction is about more than just Ivy.

But I can't. Not if I want to play tomorrow without a black eye and a broken rib.

It's killing me, though. That I can't touch her, can't hold her, can't whisper words of reassurance into her hair. And for the first time in a long time, I don't want to be around my best friends right now. I want them out of my house so I can go and comfort the woman who has occupied all my waking thoughts for weeks now.

Roman watches me, his eyes surprisingly compassionate. I guess he can sense my turmoil. It must be radiating from me in waves if he can find it in himself to be empathetic.

"If you had it your way, Alex, I would be alone forever." With that, she stomps her way over to him, pausing only to drop a goodnight kiss on Salem's forehead and whisper, "Sweet dreams, baby girl," before disappearing down the hallway to her room.

The three of us watch her go, our chests deflating with simultaneous sighs.

On the outside, I school my expression to mirror Roman's. But on the inside, a war is raging inside of me. Frustration. Sadness. Anger.

He couldn't be more wrong about Ivy. I saw their connection for myself, the way Brynn melts when she sees her, and how Ivy relaxed the very moment Brynn had her in her arms.

Their relationship isn't bad for either of them. It's magic. And they certainly don't need distance. They need the opposite.

I wonder if Alex knows how much Brynn wishes she could adopt her. He definitely doesn't share the feelings I do that Brynn and Ivy belong together. And that maybe,hopefully,one day, it will happen for them.

"Maybe we should go," Roman says quietly.

Alex nods, his shoulders drooped, his gaze despondent. "Yeah. Maybe we should." Then to me, "Will you make sure she's okay?"

Something inside of me softens at his obvious dejection. So, I stand, taking my sleeping daughter from his arms, and give him a reassuring nod. “Yeah.” I clear my throat uncomfortably. "Will do."

When they've gone, I lay Salem down in her crib and head straight for Brynn's room.

She's already asleep. With her face turned toward me, two hands tucked beneath her cheek, she sleeps with shaky breaths and dry tears on her skin. Above her, Gordon curls around her head, his face lost inside her halo of hair.

I don't wake her. I simply wrap my body around hers and press my lips to her shoulder. She may not know that I’m here, but I’m here all the same.

Text thread between Brynn and Alex

Alex:I love you, Brynn Bear.

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