Page 126 of Winning Brynn

“What?”

“Ivy called. I was only gone a few minutes, but I asked Issy to get Salem a snack. I told her there was fruit in the fridge, forgetting about the grapes. That’s on me, Leo. She didn’t know they had to be sliced first, but I did, and I didn’t tell her.”

Issy staggers back a few steps, holding tremoring hands in front of her mouth. “I can’t do this.”

My head snaps toward her. “What the fuck do you mean,you can’t do this?”

Her whole body is shaking, her eyes wild, her expression manic. She throws her arms out, gesturing at me, at Brynn, then at Salem, who’s sleeping peacefully in the arms of the red-haired EMT, who is clearly trying to pretend like she can’t hear us. “This. You. Salem. Being a mom. I can’t do it. I can’t do any of it.” Her voice is so choked and breathless that the words are barely audible. But I hear them, and they sink through me like a shipwreck splintering into pieces at the bottom of the ocean.

“So, that’s it? You’re walking out on her,again?”

Tears rain down her face as she continues to stumble backward, away from us, bumping into the oak armrest of a chair in the living area. She sways on her feet, stopping only for a moment. “I was left alone with her for ten minutes. Ten minutes, and she almost died. If Brynn hadn’t known exactly what to do, if she hadn’t noticed the second Salem started choking and immediately jumped in to help her… I can’t even think about it.”

“It was an accident, Issy,” Brynn implores, watching her friend with sadness. “Parents make mistakes every day. Sometimes the kids are fine; sometimes they aren’t. All we can do is learn and do better so the same thing doesn’t happen again. It was a mistake that I could have prevented. It doesn’t make you incapable of taking care of her.”

My hands twist at my side, emotions harrowing through me with such force that I struggle to identify them.

I don’t know what I should be feeling.

For the past month, I’ve wanted nothing more than for Isabella to disappear from our lives. Aside from the circumstances, this is everything I’ve wanted. I should be relieved, yet I’m furious.

She’s walked out on my daughter once already, and now she wants to do it again.

After begging me to let her back into Salem’s life, after everything her presence has made Brynn feel, after jeopardizing the peace and future of my family…she’s leaving again? Just decided it’s too hard and she wants to wash her hands of it all?

How dare she?

“You shouldn’t be scared to leave me in a room with my own daughter, but you obviously need to be,” Issy sobs. “And it’s not just that. I can’t—” She scrunches her eyes shut, thumping her hand against her heart. “I can’t make myself feel what I want so badly to feel. I’ve tried. I’ve tried so fucking hard. It’s not working. None of it is working.”

In the kitchen, the EMTs begin muttering quietly amongst themselves, sending the occasional awkward glance in our direction. Aside from routinely checking on Salem every fifteen seconds, I pay them no mind, too distracted by the shit-show exploding in front of me to care that they can hear everything.

“Issy—” Brynn starts, but Isabella shakes her head.

“No. There’s nothing you can say to make me change my mind.” She snatches her purse off the living room rug and clutches it to her chest, inching farther and farther away from us. “I can’t do this. I can’t be the mom she deserves. I never will be. And it wouldn’t be fair to her to keep trying.” She looks at her friend, her face softening. “I’m not like you, Brynn. I don’t have the capacity to love her like you do.”

“But—”

I curl my arm around Brynn’s waist and pull her into me. “Let her go.”

“I’m sorry,” Isabella whispers from under the arch of the hallway. “I’m so sorry.”

And then she’s gone.

The balding EMT watches the spectacle unfold with his hands on his hips. Scratching the back of his head with a grimace, he clears his throat. “Right. We’re all ready to go. You might want to grab a bag, because you’ll probably be in the hospital until tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah.” I cough. “Okay.”

Brynn wipes her eyes and rolls her shoulders back. “Can we take Salem down to the ambulance? I think Leo really needs to hold his daughter.”

The female EMT gives us a soft smile, nods, and gently transitions a sleeping Salem into my arms. I look down at my daughter. Her dark lashes flutter dreamily against her cheeks, full of color and life. I breathe in the milky scent of her head, resting my face against her curls and counting each time her chest rises and falls.

She’s okay.

“She is.” Brynn smiles reassuringly, and I realize I said that out loud.

“You have your girlfriend to thank for that, sir,” the male EMT says, looking at Brynn warmly. “If she hadn’t acted so quickly, we would have been looking at a very different situation. She saved your daughter’s life, no question about it.”

Brynn flushes, her gaze dipping to the floor but not from embarrassment. I can see her misplaced guilt in the way she gnaws on her lip and digs the sharp points of her fingernails into her fisted palms.

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