Page 8 of Our Secrets and Scars

Caldwell, ID 83634

Kinz,

You’re not the only one with secrets and scars, y’know? No one’s perfect, and we’re all a little bit ugly on the inside. But you know what? That’s totally fine. Because how many people can say that they’ve never had a negative thought, never spoken behind someone’s back, or made a snap judgment about someone based on nothing more than the way that they look?

So, to stop writing to you because you’ve had the courage to show me that side of yourself would make me the biggest hypocrite. Remember where I am, Kinsley? I’m hardly in a position to judge you for your secrets when I’m writing to you from a prison cell.

Wanna know what I think? Our secrets and scars make us who we are. They’re what we weave our souls from. They’re the reason our hearts beat a rhythm that’s ours and only ours. Without them, we’d all be the same person, just with a different face and a different name. I don’t know about you, but I find beauty in that.

And, yeah, some people are just assholes. Being here opens my eyes to that more than anything. But for most of us, we’re all imperfect people, just doing the best we can. So, stop thinking that I’m going to suddenly give up on you for being a normal fucking human being, and start accepting that it’s okay to not be perfect.

You’re okay, Kinsley. You’re okay.

Always, Fletcher

P.S. My release date was set today.

RETURN ADDRESS

Kinsley Garcia

1152 Llamarada Blvd.

Twin Falls, ID 83301

Dear Fletcher,

Did you seriously not include the fact that you’ve been given a release date in the main body of your letter? I’m shaking my head at you so hard right now.

I screamed when I read your news. The joy I felt for you… it was like what I imagine opening an acceptance letter to Harvard would be like. I ordered a pizza in celebration and imagined I was sharing it with you. I tried to picture you opposite me, sitting cross-legged on my bedroom floor as we laugh at shitty TV shows.

I think of you that way a lot. A little like an imaginary friend, I guess; I take the fantasy of you everywhere. And sometimes… sometimes I talk to you too. When I’m sad, happy, when I’ve got news to share, I write to you, but I also speak to you as if you’re in the room with me. Because I get lonely too sometimes, and just the thought of you makes it better. Sometimes, I wrap my arms around myself and pretend it’s you holding me; I stroke my hair and imagine it’s your fingers combing through the strands. And in the dead of night, when it’s dark and no one’s around, I’ll slip a hand between my legs and pretend it’s you who’s touching me instead.

Do you ever think of me that way?

I think of you like that a lot. And though we’ve never met, though I have no idea what you look like or smell like or feel like to touch, I know who you are through the words you write. And that man is incredible. He’s brave and wise and everything a man should be.

He’s the man who made me fall in love for the first time.

Maybe I shouldn’t have said that, but if you meant what you said in your last letter, then I guess it’s okay. Because it’s just another one of my secrets, right? And you like those. A good thing really, because I’ve given you a lot of mine.

Are my secrets safe with you, Fletcher?

Is my heart safe with you?

Loving you, Kinsley

RETURN ADDRESS

Kinsley Garcia

1152 Llamarada Blvd.

Twin Falls, ID 83301

Dear Fletcher,

Is everything okay? I didn’t hear from you this week. And it’s totally fine if you’ve been busy or whatever, but I’ve never not received a letter from you, and well, it’s got me worried. Especially after that fight you told me about. I can’t stop thinking about something bad happening to you, can’t stop wondering whether or not you’re safe.

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