Page 38 of Our Secrets and Scars

“Violet,” Holden growls, gripping my chin and tilting it upward. “I told you to look at me.”

My shy eyes meet his dark ones. His fingers slide off my chin to cup my throat, applying very slight pressure to the sides, not enough to cut off my air supply but enough to make sure I know my place.

“Don’t look away when I compliment you.” His thumb moves up to run across my bottom lip, and I shudder. “You’re gorgeous, little one, goddamn mesmerizing. Sometimes when I look at you, I can’t breathe. It actually hurts. Like looking into the sun, you fucking blind me. So when I tell you that you’re beautiful, you better believe that I mean it.”

He doesn’t let me respond, not that I could even if he did anyway, because his lips sear to mine in a kiss so intense, my back arches off the bed. At this moment, he has me, body and soul. I’m not thinking about the way my heart beats to the rhythm of another man’s name or how his still thuds to the thought of a woman who isn’t me.

All I know is the taste of his lips and the heat of his hands on my skin.

He climbs over me on the bed, nudging my legs apart with his knees until he can fit himself between them. It doesn’t escape me that he’s still half-dressed, whereas I am naked and bare beneath him. And yet, I don’t have the urge to cover myself or demand that he remove the rest of his clothes to make it fair.

Because I likethat we’re not on equal footing right now. I like that the scale of power is tipped in his direction and that I don’t need to do anything other than what I’m told.

For once, my mind is clear. My trauma doesn’t haunt me when he pulls my bottom lip between his teeth and bites down, pulling back just before he’s able to draw blood. I’m not worrying about whether or not my scars are exposed when he looks at me like he doesn’t know what part of me he wants to taste first. I don’t wish that I was someone else when his filthy mouth tells me how long he’s been imagining me in this position.

It’s just Holden and me, our body heat and irrepressible desire.

His lips break away from mine, traveling south until he finds one of my breasts. A moan escapes me as he sucks my nipple into his warm mouth, swirling his tongue around it and tugging until it grows even stiffer.

He releases me with a smirk.

“So here’s what’s going to happen,” he says. “I’m not going to fuck you until I’ve made you come on my tongue three times. And you’re going to count them, okay?”

I blink.

Is it even possible to come that many times?

But despite my speculation, I find myself nodding anyway.

“Words, Violet.” He tuts.

“Yes, Holden.”

And just like that, his face is buried between my thighs. There’s no build-up, no gentle teasing or going slow. None of that would be necessary anyway. I wasn’t lying when I said it wouldn’t take much to set me off. I’ve been on the knife’s edge since I was riding him in the front seat of his truck.

It only takes a few flicks of the tip of his tongue to make my legs tremble. And when his silver piercing rolls across my aching clit, there’s nothing that can stop the scream being ripped from my throat as I come, clawing at his hair and bucking into his face.

When the feeling finally ceases, he barely takes a breath to ask, “What number was that, Violet?” But he doesn’t even wait for my response before he seals his lips back around my clit and sucks it hard into his mouth.

My back rears off the bed like I’m being exorcised. I can’t breathe, can’t fathom a coherent thought, or even attempt to speak, but somehow, I manage to stutter “one” as my toes curl and I moan like a woman unhinged.

“You should see what you look like right now.” Holden groans, sliding two thick fingers inside me and curling them upward. “Prettiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”

My eyes roll back when he finds the spot inside me that makes me shake, stroking it slowly until I’m sure that I’m making a mess all over his hand. I’m breathless, almost suffocating. With every torturous caress of his fingers, I suck in a lungful of air, only to choke on it immediately. I may as well give up trying to breathe altogether at this point, because Holden’s assault on my body isn’t easing up at all.

In fact, it only grows more intense. His fingers pick up speed, pumping in and out of me as his tongue piercing finds my clit once more and flicks it repeatedly.

He pulls away for long enough to ask, “Are you ready for number two?” before his mouth is back on me, licking and sucking until I have no choice but to come again.

I explode, screaming into his otherwise silent apartment, not even giving thought to the fact that people in the studio downstairs could well be able to hear me. It doesn’t matter. The noises I’m making aren’t of my own volition. It’s the only way I’m able to cope with the incredible, unbearable pleasure wracking through my body, and I couldn’t stop the sounds coming from me even if I tried.

“That’s it, baby,” Holden whispers through it all. “You’re doing so good.”

I’m a mess when I finally come down from the orgasm. My eyelids are heavy, and I feel like I need to sleep for an entire day to recover from what he’s done to me. I throw an arm over my face and relax into the soft bedsheets, taking a moment to catch my breath. And somehow, despite my utter exhaustion, I gasp, “two.”

Holden chuckles darkly. “Oh, little one. You’ve still got to give me one more.”

I crack open my eyes and stare at him in shock.

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