Page 52 of Lovers in Lockdown

‘Don’t. Say. Anything,’ Honey snarls, and it takes everything I have not to snort with laughter.

She must have forgotten to cover it up in the heat of the moment last night, much to her utter horror. But me? I’ve never been so amused.

Considering that this is supposed to be the first time I’ve laid eyes on it, I’m not entirely sure how I should be behaving right now. I’ve never been much of an actor. Tried in school once, auditioned for the role of Mercutio in a weird artsy performance ofRomeo and Juliet, and was basically laughed off the stage.

But that’s neither here nor there.

The point is that there is no point in pretending I have never seen the painting before because Honey would see straight through me. So instead, I ask the one question that has been playing on my mind since the night I learnt of the portrait’s existence.

‘Hey, Honey, where the fuck is my cock?’

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Honey

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Kill me now.

Please, I actually can NOT be alive for the conversation that is about to take place. Honestly, I giveanyonepermission to come and shoot me in the face right now, because it would be a far less painful demise than death by humiliation.

Where’s the fucking grim reaper when you need him?

Noah slowly turns to face me with the biggest shit-eating grin and I want to punch it off his smug little face.

‘It’s not you,’ I choke out, apparently reverting to lying to try and salvage what little dignity I have left. ‘It just looks like you.’

He cocks a brow. ‘Is that so?’

‘Yes.’

‘So, you haven’t paintedmein the nude looking like the Greek God of pure sexiness, you’ve painted someone thatlookslike me?’ If his grin of pure triumph is anything to go by, he’s not buying my lies at all.

But I press on anyway. ‘Precisely.’

He nods thoughtfully. ‘Makes sense.’

‘It does.’

‘So,’ he pauses, ‘who is it then?’

Bollocks.I didn’t think this far ahead.

‘What?’ I scratch the back of my head.

‘You heard.’ His grin hasn’t slipped at all. ‘Who’s the lucky man who has clearly captured your attention so greatly?’

I don’t answer, because anything I do say will only serve to incriminate me more. There’s no mistaking that the naked God in the painting is him. I’ve spent so many hours working on it to make it as authentically Noah as possible and now I’m paying the price for it.

Noah crawls across the bed towards me and tucks one of my loose strands of hair behind my ear.

‘Honey,’ he whispers, dropping a brief kiss on my forehead. ‘Please don’t be embarrassed. I think it’s great. I think you’ve really captured my regal, godly essence.’

I can do this. I can get through the humiliation and survive, right?

Probably not.Fuck, I can’t breathe. I think I’m dying. Maybe the Grim Reaper has finally gotten off his bony arse to come and save me from this hell.

‘Seriously though,’ Noah continues. ‘Where the hell is my cock?’

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