Page 39 of Lovers in Lockdown

The last few weeks trying to ignore his effect on me have all been in vain. There’s no ignoring the hold he has on my body, the way he sends bolts of lightning ricocheting through my veins and makes me feel as if I’m choking on air, just by simplylookingat me.

That force is still there, still pulling me towards him.

And it’s even stronger than before.

Because now I know what he’s capable of, the things he can do to me, the way he can make me feel, my body yearns to lie down and offer itself up as a sacrifice, despite my brain’s insistence to turn and walk away.Think about the war,it pleads,you can’t let him win.

But the so-calledwarbetween Noah and me hardly seems important when he’s striding towards me, his jaw clenched, his brow furrowed in concentration.

I give up trying to breathe.

What’s the point, when it’s Noah who controls my body and not me?

He stops a beat in front of me, towering over my five-foot frame and looking at me like the big bad wolf who’s preparing to eat me whole.

‘You know,’ he whispers, bending to speak into my ear, his warm breath tickling the skin at the sides of my neck, ‘I could have helped you with that.’

My eyes startle at the realisation that he heard what I was doing. I thought for sure that the shower water would mask any sounds that slipped from my mouth, but quietness has never been my strong suit and, truth be told, I was too far gone to be aware that I was making any noise at all.

He runs the back of his knuckles down my arm, smirking at the trail of goosebumps left in his wake. My lungs burn with the desperate need for air, but I can’t will myself to take a breath.

‘All you had to do was ask,’ his voice is thick and sultry like hot chocolate fudge, his warm fingers scalding my arms with every gentle touch.

My nipples harden and strain against my towel, and I know that Noah notices because his eyes flicker down to look at them and then return to mine with a look even hotter than before.

I step towards him, closing the gap, the movement completely involuntary. We’re opposite ends of a magnet, a force stronger than us pulling our bodies together. It’s out of my control, whatever happens between us now is inevitable and that’s a fact I have to accept. And quickly.

Because he’s leaning in towards me, my lips tingling in anticipation, his face getting closer and closer until I can feel the sigh of his breath on my cheek, as his mouth angles towards my ear.

‘Say the words, Honey,’ he whispers.

His voice cuts through the fog and stabs me straight in the gut.

‘What?’ my voice wavers as I force myself to look up and meet his eye.

‘Beg.’

It’s an order.

It slices through me, turning the kaleidoscope of butterflies that were fluttering in my stomach before to ash and dust, the desire in my veins evaporating, replaced in an instant by anger, embarrassment and shame.

Stupid girl, Honey.

This is a game. A battle of wills. You knew that.

My jaw clenches, my teeth grinding together as I force myself to keep it together underneath his gaze. His eyes are focused, not cold, but not warm either. They cast a chill over me all the same, making me all too aware that I’m naked aside from the thin cotton towel tied under my arms.

I must look like such a fool.

And the worst part is, he told me weeks ago that he’d make me beg him before anything happens again. Why had I forgotten that? Why had I thought that this was more than just a game, more than just a way to kill time in lockdown.

Because it’s not just a game to you,my brain whispers and I swallow the thought back down.

He told me he would make me beg and I all but did, staring up at him with wide eyes, my lips longing to be kissed, my body his for the taking. Jesus, all he had to do was look at me.

‘That will never happen,’ I growl, pushing myself away from him and turning back for the bedroom.

The place I should have gone to immediately after my shower. I wouldn’t have made such an epic fool of myself, if I’d just done what I was supposed to do.

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