Page 25 of Lovers in Lockdown

‘Fine, I guess. I was adopted when I was seven, but we didn’t really spend a lot of time together.’ Actually, we didn’t spendanytime together. I was never under any illusions that they loved me the way other parents love their kids and I’ve tried all my life, without much success, to make my peace with that. But I’ve always thought that I’d have been better off staying in the foster system. ‘Haven’t spoken to them since I went to uni.’

Honey cocks her head to one side and looks at me with sad eyes, but there’s no sympathy or pity in them, just recognition. Because she gets it. She sees me. Sheknows.

I don’t talk about my childhood. Ever. I don’t even think about it. Because thinking about it makes me remember that seven-year-old boy, scared and alone in another unfamiliar house, who realised for the first time that he’s not worthy of love. My birth parents didn’t love me enough to keep me. My adoptive parents didn’t love me at all. And that’s a pretty crappy pill to swallow when you’re seven years old.

Fuck, this conversation needs to endnow.

Honey picks up her beer from the table and holds it out for me to cheers. ‘To shitty parents?’

‘To shitty parents.’

She falls silent, sensing somehow that I don’t want to talk about it anymore, and turns to watch the television, which has been playing some home improvement show this whole time and I hadn’t noticed. I try to watch it too, but I can’t concentrate.

Because something between us changed today. I don’t know if it was nearly kissing her in the kitchen or realising that we understand each other on a deeper level than I originally thought, but there is something in the air that wasn’t there this morning.

Something that makes the fact that she’s Reid’s little sister less important. Something that makes me want to launch across the couch and crash my lips onto hers until we’re breathless and our lips are bruised.

And though Honey’s eyes haven’t strayed from the television, I know that she feels it too.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

From the texts of Honey Matthews and Ellie O’Reilly

Ellie:Hey girl, I miss your face. I haven’t had a mojito for months and I’m craving a chai latte from Starbucks. Lockdown sucks sweaty bollocks. How’s life living with the avenger?

Honey:I’m with you there, lockdown can suck my duck. Things with Noah are… weird. Miss you more.

Ellie:Suck my duck?

Honey:Typo, but I like it.

Ellie:Quack. But seriously, what’s going on with Noah? Don’t get all vague and secretive on me, I’m bored out of my mind and I’m counting on you to save me from death by being too mothershagging bored.

Honey:Mothershagging? Gross. So no boyfriendshagging then? No wonder you’re bored. Did you get the surprise I sent you?

Ellie:Absolutely no shagging of any kind whatsoever. YES! Sorry I didn’t call to thank you sooner, I’ve been too busy humping your surprise. I literally have the bestest friend ever for sending me a dildo through the post. Did I tell you recently that I love you? Cause I do. So, what’s going on with your hunky roommate?

Honey:Don’t even worry about it, just have a hump for me. And maybe talk some more about how great I am.

Ellie:Yeah, of course, straight after YOU TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH NOAH!

Honey:Jesus, woman, calm your titties. Oh God El, I’m just so confused, so much has happened and everything is just weird now. Basically, it all started because I saw him, you know, cuffing the carrot…

Ellie:Cooking carrots?

Honey:Err, not what I meant. He was… making mayonnaise…

Ellie:He was cooking carrots with mayo?

Honey:Lord Almighty, Ellie, no! I CAUGHT HIM JERKING OFF.

Ellie:Well, why the hell didn’t you just say that? Tell me everything. How much did you see? Is it big? I bet it’s massive. I bet it’s even bigger than the dildo you sent me, which is pretty damn big even for me. I bet it’s like fifteen inches, am I right? *eggplant emoji*

Honey:Fifteen inches, OUCH! But, yeah, from what I saw, he’s packing.

Ellie:Gawd, you’re so lucky. What happened? Did he see you? Was it like in a porno, where you catch him rubbing one out and then go and finish him off?

Honey:You need to get laid.

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