Page 20 of Lovers in Lockdown

‘Then what’s with the entire forest of leaves and shit in your hair?’

She runs a hand through her hair and an entire ecosystem falls out.

‘Got caught in a bush.’

‘Bullshit.’

She shifts guiltily in her place and stares at the floor. The girl can’t lie for shit.

‘Look,’ I sigh. ‘You can do what you want, but I’d rather you didn’t have…personal... meet-ups while we’re living together. Just because of the germs and stuff, you know?’

‘What?’ Her eyes finally snap to mine.

‘If you’ve been, you know, meeting up with someoneintimately,then I’d really prefer it if you could just hold off until all this pandemic stuff is over.’

‘Oh, Jesus Christ.’ She tosses her hands in the air, strips off her sodden cardigan and throws it aggressively onto the floor in my direction, leaving her in nothing but jeans and a paper-thin tank top.Must. Not. Look. Down.

Ah. Too late. My dick’s now saluting her like an officer in the military.

‘Bloody hell, Noah, I wasnotout shagging some guy in the woods, alright?’

I try to ignore the relief that washes over me that she wasn’t out bonking some other guy, but I inexplicably want to burst out into a happy dance.

‘Well then, what were you doing?

‘I fell asleep.’

‘You what?’

‘I fellasleep,’ she hisses.

‘In a bush?’

‘I didn’t do it on purpose! I woke up early this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I thought I’d go for a walk, but I guess I ended up walking a lot further than I meant to and my legs were aching, so I sat down against this tree to rest them and, well, I must have ended up falling asleep because I woke up and it was pissing down with rain.’

Fucking hell.

If it was anybody else telling me this, I’d probably have a hard time believing them, but Honey Matthews falling asleep up against a tree on a freezing cold day in March isn’t entirely outside the realms of possibility.

‘I’m surprised no one thought you were homeless,’ I laugh.

‘There was actually some money next to me when I woke up,’ she whispers meekly.

I lose it.

I’m laughing so hard that I’m snorting like a hysterical pig.

And when she tells me to go fuck myself and storms out the room, I howl even louder. I’m still laughing as I hear her stomp into the bathroom and slam the door shut.

I guess we’re going to forget all about last night then.

And that’s absolutely, freaking fine by me.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Honey

I bang my head against the closed bathroom door and sigh.

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