Page 10 of Lovers in Lockdown

Oh shit.

Did I really just say that?

That’s so unlike me. I can’t bloody believe it.

And by the looks of things, neither can he, because he’s looking at me like he’s both shocked and impressed. This man and his magic sex powers need to get away from menow.Because if he doesn’t, and god forbid if he touches me again, I cannot be held responsible for my actions.

And now we’re stuck in an uncomfortable limbo where neither of us knows what to do. So, I do what any sensible, sophisticated, self-respecting woman would do in this scenario. I run. Head down, straight past Noah and into the living room, where I collapse on the couch in a heap and ask the heavens to save me from myself.

Noah’s clothed when he joins me in the living room, much to my disappointment - because his naked ass really is a sight to behold - but he still looks edible in his white t-shirt and grey tracksuit bottoms. Seriously, what is it about a man in grey joggers? Noah wearing them has me panting like a dog in heat. And this is made one hundred percent worse by the fact that he has bare feet.

I’ve always thought that you can tell so much about a man by looking at his feet and now I’ve seen every part of him, even if not for long enough, I can firmly attest to the fact that big feet really do mean…

Well, you know.

A big cock.

‘So, pizza?’ Noah asks, thankfully interrupting my stare off with his ten perfectly masculine toes. I didn’t even know masculine toes were a thing.

‘Oh, yeah, what? Sure.’

‘What do you want?’

‘Hawaiian, please.’

‘What?’

‘Hawaiian.’ Is he deaf?

‘Jesus, I don’t know if I can do this,’ Noah grimaces.

‘I’m sorry?’

‘I don’t know if I can live with someone who eats pineapple on their pizza.’

The look of horror on Noah’s face tells me he’s not kidding. And I know that fruit on pizza is a controversial issue, but I didn’t realise it wasthiscontroversial.

I shrug it off, ‘Go on then, what toppings do you have on yours?’

This man better have some next-level, created-by-the-God’s-of-Italian-cuisine toppings on his pizza, if he’s going to sit here and judge me for mine.

‘Chicken, bacon and mushrooms.’

I am bitterly disappointed.

‘And then I cover it in mayonnaise.’

Christ. He just made it so much worse.

‘What’s wrong with mayo?’

‘Whoever thought egg sauce was a good idea needs a good kick in the bollocks.’

He shakes his head.

‘You’re crazy.’

‘I’ve heard that before.’

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