Page 59 of What If It's You?

“I’m not saying it’s a certainty, Laurel, but right now…you’re the cat in the box. Somehow this program is holdingyouin both states. Or sliding you between them? Honestly, it’s so much more complex than even Schrödinger theorized. The point is, whatever state, or states, you’re toggling between, if they shut it down, that’s not going to be the case anymore. You’ll be in one state…or the other.”

“So…one world or the other?”

“That’s one possibility. The other is, well…you know whatelseis revealed about the cat, right?”

“Oh.” My eyes went huge as I processed what she wasn’t willing to say.The cat either lives or dies, you only find out when you open the box. “But…how? Wouldn’t I have to still existsomewhere?”

“Presumably some version of you would…but clearly some version of you is living each of these lives in your…absence, I suppose? Which I have no real explanation for, except to say that your body and your consciousness have clearly come untethered in some fundamental way.” She paused for a moment. “There’s every possibility that the version of you speaking to me now, and who should exist in this world, will ‘win,’ but there’s an equal possibility that it won’t, either in the sense that you find yourself stuck permanently in the other world, or find yourself permanently…unstuck from worlds altogether, shall we say? Maybe those are odds you’re okay with taking. I can’t decide that for you. But if they’re not…I’m simply saying this might help you avoid that discovery.”

“Got it,” I said, voice sounding weirdly echoey in my own head. “And this is the only solution you can think of?”

“It’s the only one that immediately jumps to mind,” she said slowly, clearly choosing her words carefully. “I’m not sure why, but it seems like these two timelines are…sticky,for lack of a better word. Instead of running in parallel after the choice you made, like we’d expect, they keep bumping up against each other again and again. If there’s really no way to get the program to make a ‘clean break’ between the timelines, then pulling the two worlds apart along another dimension—or dimensions, as it were, the three of them that your body…bodiesexist in.” She exhaled rapidly, as though annoyed. “Sorry, the terminology is terribly muddled. Suffice it to say that physical distance might be enough to stabilize things, at least.”

“Dana…it sounds like you’re just guessing.”

“I’ve been guessing the entire time,” she said, voice uncharacteristically gentle. “The entire Many-Worlds Interpretation is theoretical, and it’s not even the dominant theory. What I’m suggesting…it’s not underpinned by hard science anymore. It hasn’t been for a while. I’m just making my best guess based on the knowledge Idohave.”

“Does that mean it’s possible you’re wrong? About me being the cat?” Hope fizzed through me.

“Anything’s possible,” she said in the same slow, gentle tones. “But given what you’ve experienced so far, I think we have to operate on the assumption that, should things continue with no change, terminating the program would be…dangerous for you. All the versions of you.”

I could feel all the tiny bubbles of carbonation popping all at once.

“Are you…alright?” Dana said.

“Yeah. I’m…fine.” My lips were numb, but that felt like a pretty normal response to learning I might just cease tobesometime in the next couple days.

“Right. Well…if you have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m…very interested in this conundrum.”

“Is it alright to call you at this number? If what you’re saying is right, we’re on a tighter timeline now…”

“Of course. And I’ve had this number since college, so you should be able to use it in both worlds. I’ll make sure to answer if you call. Though it’s probably preferable that I not hear from you. At least not until you’ve resolved this one way or another. Foryoursake, I mean.”

“Don’t worry, if they open the box and I’m dead I’ll make sure to text first.” I barked out a laugh, the panic skittering through me short-circuiting my emotional responses.

“Yes. Well.” It was possible I’d finally found something that could make Dana socially uncomfortable. “Good luck, Laurel. And please do let me know how it turns out if you’re able.”

She ended the call, but I didn’t think to drop the phone from my face for at least another block, brain spin-cycling too wildly for me to handle any but the most basic motor functions,walk, breathe, keep beating, heart, though feel free to slow your roll.

By the time I unlocked the door to the apartment, I had zero memory of the previous twenty minutes, but the beginnings of a plan.

I’d just finished my email to Maren and was attaching my résumé when Ollie walked in the door. Usually I barely beat him home, even on nights when lessons went late, but in the last week my aspirations at Pixel had felt significantly less vital. Though I might have to change that if I wanted this plan to work. On that note…I lifted a finger, tapped Send, then looked up at him, grinning widely.

“Should I be worried?” he said, smiling lazily as he dropped his backpack to the floor just inside the door and shrugged out of his coat. A tiny sliver of my brain clocked that he would completely forget about the bag until he picked it up again sometime tomorrow, but I didn’t say anything. It seemed a little strange now how much that had mattered to me a week ago.

“Worried why?”

Ollie’s expression turned faux serious.

“Where I come from, we call that ashit-eating grin. I don’t know how to break this to you, Laurel, but that’s not a healthy hobby. I know it seems fun and edgy now, but if you want cheap thrills, take up parkour, you know?”

“I take it you have firsthand experience in the dangers of shit eating?”

“It’s how we lost Uncle Fred, god rest his filthy soul.” Ollie made the sign of the cross, then moved over and plopped down next to me on the couch, arm moving around my shoulders out of habit. I nuzzled toward him for a moment, relishing his scent. He squeezed me closer.

“So?” he said into my hair. “Planning on telling mewhathas you so impressed with yourself?”

“Well, first let me ask you something. Is SF still your favorite city?”

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