Page 17 of What Sleeps Within the Cove

I could see the end of the passion ahead of me, and knowing that the end was within sight gave me some clarity of mind.

“Who I’m attracted to hardly matters now. I love my mate and would never even consider being unfaithful to him. Having an attraction to women doesn’t change that any more than an attraction to men would,” I said, passing by the outliers. The last groupings faded into the background as we stepped to the other side of the village, the magic of that temptation vanishing with a quick crack that made my ears pop.

ELEVEN

ESTRELLA

The warmth that had pulsed within me previously shifted into something darker, that monster within me simultaneously feeling like she had escaped her cage and was no longer a part of me. There were moments I didn’t feel her presence at all, and then I simply wondered if she’d consumed me. If my loss of her was more because my magic being muted for the time being meant there was nothing to keep her at bay.

She was me, but she also wasn’t.

She was the vindictiveness that loved seeing a man suffer for killing his child because she dared to live a life that was different than his.

Maybe that meant she wasn’t really a monster at all.

I stared down at Fenrir where he’d clung to my side since leaving the village and the lust that consumed it, running my hand through the thick fur on his back. His red-tipped ears gleamed, the blood on his white fur still matted at his chest from the night before. Hiseyes were the same deep, haunting red of the flames around us, and watching him came with the realization that so many would consider him a beast.

An abomination or a terrifying creature, when all he did was protect the ones he loved. He might have looked monstrous in some ways, but he was just a puppy in need of love and affection at the end of the day. He nuzzled my side with his head when his sister tried to come between us, forcing me to twist so I could pet the top of Lupa’s head as well.

“They’re very protective of you,” Nemain observed, earning a growl from Fenrir as he read the words as a threat. “Is it because they see you as an extension of your mate, I wonder?” she asked, but there was something in that tone that said she wasn’t truly asking. Whatever the answer might have been, they already knew it. This like so many other questions, so many other trials, were all a game in this place. As much as I might be able to convince myself the Morrigan were looking out for me, I couldn’t help my complete aggravation and frustration in this situation.

I wanted the truth. I wanted the answers, and instead of just providing them we were forced to dance around them like a childhood game.

“What else could it be?” I said, even if I doubted the words as much as she seemed to. It could have been because he was so much larger than I, but as far as I knew, Fenrir had never allowed Caldris to ride him.

The thought settled inside of me, realization dawning as I looked back down at Fenrir. His red eyes met mine, the disbelief in them so obvious it was almost as if he’d spoken the words themselves.

Duh, he seemed to say.

He stopped walking beside me, lowering his upper body so I could swing my leg over his back. I settled into position, using my thighs and calves to grip his body as he stood more fully. My hands buried in the length of white fur at his nape, using it to grip and hold on as he strode forward a few steps.

Lupa and Ylfa circled around him, pacing with an energy that was tangible.

They wanted to run, but they’d been stuck staying close to me.

“He lets you ride him?” Nemain asked. I grinned, barely refraining from pointing out the obvious. She scoffed, looking toward her sisters as they all stared at me.

“The Cwn Annwn once belonged to Sephtis, God of theUnderworld. When he died, they chose his son as their new owner,” Macha explained, referring to Caldris’s father.

I hadn’t known the wolves had been his.

“But he wasn’t their original owner. The Cwn Annwn have existed since the dawn of creation, clinging to those who are connected to death in some way because it most closely resembles the place of their birth and their original owner,” Nemain added.

“What does that have to do with me?” I asked, trying not to get too impatient. I was truly growing tired of the tidbits of information they fed me in bits and pieces.

“Because the last being Fenrir allowed to ride him was his original owner,” Badb answered, holding my gaze as Fenrir paused his steps. I found my fingers running through his fur, seeking comfort from the friend that went deeper than words. “The last being Fenrir allowed to ride him was the very thing that existed before death. He was the embodiment of nothingness. A distinct lack of life. He is where death comes from. He is the Void.”

“He is you,” a deeper voice growled, the sound seeming to vibrate in my mind. I jolted, turning to look for the source and finding none but the Morrigan to accompany me.

Fenrir turned his neck slowly, peeking over his shoulders to hold my stare as that voice sounded in my mind once again. “You and your father are one and the same.”

I balked, staring down at those gleaming red eyes. The words didn’t have time to sink in, couldn’t penetrate past the haze of confusion.

Was he…

“He’s your familiar,” Macha said, forcing my gaze to snap to her suddenly. She was studying me intently, watching the exchange occur between Fenrir and I. I didn’t think she could hear his voice the way I could, but she was aware that something had changed.

I looked back down at the wolf below me, blinking rapidly as the shadowed whisper of that deep, gruff voice rang in my mind like an echo. “Ilta has her owls. Bryn has her bees. Oshun has his squid…” She trailed off, letting the insinuation of her words hang in the air.

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