Page 51 of What Hunts Inside the Shadows

I nodded as well, having already suspected as much. With the Veil separating the realms, portraits held within forbidden texts were the only way a human woman with a mortal lifespan could know what any of the Gods looked like. My attention swung to the book Holt had given me, strapped into the saddle bags across Azra’s rump.

“The night the candle predicted you were slated to die, I sensed the truth in that premonition,” Adelphia said, drawing my attention back to her. “I wouldn’t have guessed it was a reference to the God of the Dead. I don’t typically believe the magic understands nuances like that, and you are very much alive,” she mused, reaching out a hand to grasp mine. She kept the movement casual, her voice low as she eyed Caldris cautiously where he rode beside Holt. “Stay close to your mate. I fear something else may be coming for your life, Estrella.”

“I fear there are a great many who would want me dead,” I said, scoffing with laughter as I brushed off her statement. When I’d stumbled across the ritual in the woods, I’d been shocked by the candle’s declaration that death waited for me before the next Samhain. It was my first brush with mortality—the first moment when I was reminded of just how temporary a human life could be. In the weeks that followed, I’d become far more acquainted with death. I’d danced with it more times than I cared to count, and the life where I didn’t need to worry daily seemed farther away.

Like a different life entirely.

“All the more reason to stay close to the male who would do anything to see you alive and well,” Adelphia said, finally releasing my hand. She cleared her throat, turning her gaze forward on the path we walked across the open plain and heaving a sigh. “I am certain your village did its best to turn you against the Fae. That much was obvious from what I saw in you that night in the woods, but you were willing to join us in our chanting. A part of you has always known the way of the New Gods is not the natural order. Do not let that part of you die when you need her the most.”

“I am a firm believer that it's worthwhile fighting for something like freedom,” I said, lifting my chin as I glanced at Caldris from the corner of my eye. He continued in his conversation with Holt, but I couldn’t help the feeling that he listened intently to every word. It should have been impossible to hear us, but my skin prickled with awareness regardless.

“Oh, sweet girl. What do you know of freedom?” Adelphia asked, her voice sad as she regarded me from my side. Her gaze was a heavy weight on my profile, stealing the breath from my lungs.

“I have fought my entire life to maintain even a small measure of it—”

“There can be nothing small when it comes to freedom,” she said, glancing down at the shackles on my wrist with a grimace. “You either have it or you don’t, and you were a prisoner in this world before you were even born, purely because you lack a cock. No matter how many times you snuck out in the night, you were always a prisoner—just a rebellious one.”

“How am I any freer now?” I asked, clinking the metal of my shackles together pointedly.

“You’re not, and in truth, you may never be free in the sense you desire. If you should embrace your path and the mate who is destined to stand at your side, you may find yourself caught in a different kind of imprisonment. But I should think it will be preferable to fearing for your life and the risk of punishment should you fail to comply. I suppose only time will tell,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

She smiled, her lips pulling back to reveal her teeth in something that felt far too wicked to be comforting. “Regardless of your feelings on the matter, you are the Crown Princess of Winter and Shadows. That is a title that will come with responsibilities to your new people—a burden that I am sure many would feel trapped under.”

“How could a title like that matter? Unless The Fates interfere, the Queen of each Court will probably continue to live for centuries. It isn’t as if Caldris will ever see the throne,” I said, but my voice trailed off with doubt. I knew nothing of the way Faerie politics worked or how the line of succession worked.

I didn’t even know if a royal had ever vacated a throne.

“I would wager that even a Faerie Queen can grow tired when she is not consumed by her thirst for power. From what I do know of Mab, I would agree that she’ll never step down, but there is always a chance that Caldris’s mother tires of ruling. Think of how many centuries she must have lived before Caldris was even born.” Adelphia’s voice turned wistful as she considered the thought, but all I could conjure was horror. What would an immortal being, who had lived since nearly the dawn of creation, think of someone as young as me?

I had nothing but an insignificant blip in time compared to that kind of lifetime—an eternity that sprawled out before the immortals and held all the promise of an endless future. We could accomplish nothing in our short lives by comparison.

Except I wouldn’t have a human lifespan if I accepted Caldris as my mate. I would live as long as he did. I could live for what seemed like forever.

I didn’t know if I would even want that.

“Most would see the promise of immortality as a gift,” Adelphia said with a chuckle, turning her smiling face away from mine as she fought back her laughter. “You look as though you’ve just witnessed a murder.”

“Immortality is a great deal of time for The Fates to hurt me,” I said, thinking of just how miserable I’d been through most of my life. The thought of living centuries like that….

No.

“It is also a great deal of time for The Fates to bless you,” she said, raising a brow and snagging my stare with hers finally. “You could watch your children grow, your grandchildren and great grandchildren.”

I paled.Children.

I turned a startled glance over to my mate, where he chattered with Holt, and his body seemed tense. His head turned toward mine slowly, something knowing in his gaze as I fought the panic closing my throat.

I couldn’t breathe around it; couldn’t see past my own stupidity. I hadn’t taken the tonic to prevent pregnancy since we’d left the Resistance. “Fuck,” I whispered, turning my stare away from Caldris. He motioned toward me, tugging gently on his reins as he made to close the distance.

“Estrella?” Adelphia asked, grasping my forearm in her grip. “What did I say?”

Caldris rode up beside me, staring down at me with his face grave with concern. He didn’t speak because he didn’t need to ask if I was alright.

He already felt that answer pulsing down the bond between us.

“How do the Fae prevent pregnancy?” I asked, staring up into his blue eyes.

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