Page 55 of Hell to Pay

“Roll… onto my back?”

“Yeah, and for fuck’s sake, hold your breath until your head’s above water.” Rafe put a hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes. “Don’t worry, dude. We got you. You’re going to have fun.”

Rafe’s words were uncharacteristically patient and comforting. Who would have known Rafe would make a good… dad?

Big brother?

Either way, my mind was kind of blown, but I guess it shouldn’t have been, because if there was one thing I’d learned about Lilah, it was that somehow, she kept finding ways to make us better men.

It wasn’t her job. But here we were.

37

LILAH

Matt was very muchalive and looking almost happy when I got home from work. They were all freshly showered — Matt too — looking healthy and vibrant after their hours on the river. They were like teenagers, talking excitedly about their adventure, right up until six huge pizzas were delivered.

“Six pizzas?” I stared open-mouthed as Nolan set them on the island. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

“We’re hungry!” Jude said, opening one of the boxes while Nolan got a stack of plates from the cupboard.

“I… I can see that.”

We dished the pizza and carried our plates to the living room. I listened as they gave me the highlights of their day on the river and answered questions about my first day on the job.

The doors to the deck were open, the sounds of a summer night a soundtrack to our lively conversation, and a warm glow radiated from my chest. It took me a minute to realize it was because for the first time in a long time, I felt like I had a family. I had people to share my day with, people who cared about the things that happened to me over the course of a day.

And I cared about them too. Their happiness made me happy — even Rafe’s. I was still pissed, and he was not getting a pass on that apology — but somewhere over the past couple of months, I’d stopped wanting him to experience slow and painful torture in the fiery pits of hell.

Against all odds, I wanted him to be happy too.

Every now and then, Matt’s phone buzzed and I saw him look at it and furrow his brow. He always turned it upside down on the coffee table, but I didn’t need to see the display to know it was my mom.

So much for giving Matt space.

Finally, after five pieces of pizza and two sodas, Matt picked up his phone with a sigh. “I’ll be back.”

I should have known she wouldn’t just let him be for a few days.

“How was he today?” I asked no one in particular.

“Good,” Nolan said. “I think he had fun.”

“He was a little nervous getting in the water, but he seemed to warm to it pretty fast,” Jude added. “Although you should ask Rafe since Matt was in his kayak.”

I tried not to let my mouth drop open. I’d expected Rafe to be civil but I definitely hadn’t expected him to go out of his way for my brother.

“He rode with you?”

Rafe shrugged, shifting in his favorite chair by the fireplace. Was his face red or was it just the dim lighting in the living room?

“It just worked out that way.”

“No, it didn’t,” Nolan said. “You told him to get in the double and then you got in with him.”

“Thank you,” I said quickly, before Rafe’s ego could ruin the moment. “I’m sure he had an amazing time. I appreciate that you showed him the ropes.”

“He got dunked once,” Rafe said, happy to move on from the apparently embarrassing fact that he was capable of not being a dick when it came to me and my brother. “But he followed my instructions and I got him back in the boat pretty fast.”

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